Fire and Brimstone

This past 48 hours has made me lose faith in humanity more than any other incident in my two decades of existence. Here, I saw the worst in people, the monstrous and the downright despicable. Their ugly heads craning in glee in the despair of others. Animated tales of half-truths and speculations disguised as intelligent conversation float the streets like the smoke still stubbornly lingering in the air. 

They say "Love thy neighbor" but I really cannot imagine being able to right now. Not when I have seen and heard with my own eyes and ears the heartlessness and callousness of the people around us.

As a believer of the beauty of human nature, I cannot fathom how these people can still point fingers when the only ones who have lost almost everything are the ones they are pointing at. What is with these people that compels them to spread hysteria and take center stage as they narrate how shocked and panicked they felt at the height of the incident then brag to anyone who would listen how accurate they were when they said before they have seen this coming and thus act like pompous omnipotent Gods who were "right" all along?

These are the same people who would stomp on you when you're down, taking advantage of the momentary showcase of weakness of the successful entity they secretly want to be. 

Middle-aged women in multi-colored dusters look harmless enough but beware, these are the ones that you should be wary of. Those who have no life of their own and have nothing else to do with their dull and pointless existence so they feed off the tasty tales of others so that their lives will seem to have more meaning, more excitement to freshen up the day's mundane routines of sweeping the front of their houses while keeping an ear out for juicy gossip. 

Let's not forget the holier-than-thou Followers of Christ, the ones in all white uniform asking for your money during masses, reading bible verses and preaching the word of the Lord. The same ones who would judge without proof and concoct (and spread) their own version of the truth as they deem fit to their pre-conceived impression of others.

And lastly...

What kind of people are these who have already seen smoke coming out of a window and failed to notify those who may still be inside the building? Yes, thank you for calling the fire department, but it is still a mystery to me how your conscience could exist when you knew that there were living, breathing people inside a burning building still unaware of the mortal threat they were facing and yet you have done nothing to make sure that they make it out safely.

-

Humanity, I am disappointed. I know there exist murderers, rapists and thieves that do much worse, but I always regard them as those who have chosen a different path and thus separated from the people I see and interact with everyday. But this foul, selfish disregard to the welfare of others is unheard of before this moment. It made me see the evil inside everyday harmless citizens, most of whom you think are respectable and honest do-gooders incapable of those kinds of thoughts and (lack of) actions. 

So, to our neighbors who epitomizes the paragraphs above, I remind you one powerful word: Karma.

Top 10 Quotes for 2012

And because posting New Year Resolutions is a sham (honestly, who gets to keep all of them?) I decided to try something new this time around.

2011 have taught me a lot of lessons but it has also given me so much, far far greater than what I expected when I was welcoming the year with mental images of what I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. 

And because life happens in unexpected ways, let's start off this year by veering off the normal road of resolutions. Instead of empty promises, here are the quotes I promise vow try my darnest to live by this Apocalyptic year of 2012. *enter Jay Sean song here before it gets obsolete*

10. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. -- Erma Bombeck

9. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that moves us along. - Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved"

8. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. -- Oprah

7. Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. -- Mel Brooks

6. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all. In which case, you've failed by default. -- J. K. Rowling, 

5. Too many people undervalue what they are and overvalue what they're not. - DJ Mo Twister (via Twitter)

4. I wasn't born to follow, and I'm not sure I was born to lead. But one thing I know, I was born to walk my path. - @Itslifenotes on Twitter

3. “If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” ― Rumi (Islam Quote)

2. “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

1. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls. -- Joseph Campbell

The years teach much which the days never know.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homily of the Year

Anyone who know me or have read at least a couple of posts in this blog know that I am not a big fan of religion. I'm a big believer of God but not necessarily any established faith available in the country (or the world for that matter). This fact, however, does not make me immune from being dragged to church almost every Sunday, Christmas Day was not an exemption. 

I want to make it clear that I have nothing against going to church. It's just that I can't find any meaning to these rituals, especially if the homily is, yet again, about some mindless ramble about the importance of the church, the duties of Catholics to their church, how one should go to church more often, be more active in church activities, give more money to the painting/restoration of the church et. al. I mean, I understand that a religious institution, even as big as The Catholic Church, needs support from their flock, but lately, I've been finding these kinds of lectures bothersome. 

For a massive powerful force that offers salvation and hope to millions of people, all I've been hearing recently are these kinds of needy litanies about being a "True Catholic / True Christian". If that is not the case, then lectures about the pathophysiology of the Holy Trinity and dissection of *enter vague religious term here* dominates most homilies I've had unpleasure of hearing. My spider sense could sense the crowd's simultaneous mental snores.

However, the Christmas Mass we went to last Sunday was different. It completely stood out from all the homilies I've heard since I started scrutinizing the words that come out of a priest's mouth. We attended the 6PM Eucharistic Celebration at the EDSA Shrine, December 25, 2011. I didn't catch Father's name, but you just have to to take my word for it, he was awesome.

And because it was Christmas, I expected a story about Jesus in the manger with the animals and itchy hay. I was ready to sneak in a quick nap while standing up (just got off from work before heading out to go to mass) when my subconscious told me that this priest was doing one hell of a job in that pulpit. With an American accent and a voice that could replace the smoothest DJ in Philippine radio, he rambled on with this unexplained magnetic charisma. He first talked about the thousands of street kids in the metro. On how one would eat inside a fast food beside the glass wall and have at least 2 kids staring at you while you much down on your Big Mac, then if you give one a treat, a stampede of other street kids will follow and surround you before you can even plan your nearest escape route. 

Point 1 for father. Good thing to know that at least one of the Catholic clergy acknowledges the existence of street children in the country. With their arguments against the RH Bill, I would have believed that they are blind to these conditions.

Second, he talked about the story of a an older brother sharing to his sibling half of the food he got from a donation drive. Just when the world seems so hopeless with the sight of never ending poverty and suffering kids with bleak future, he said that that image gave him hope. And this was the time he said the words that I never would have expected someone in the clergy would say.

He said that we, Catholics, Christians, have been so convinced, so assured, by our culture and even by our own church that God is always there for us. We have been so complacent and compelled that whatever hardship or suffering happens, God will help us, will not forsake us and thus will make everything better. All we needed to do is pray and have faith. Although this is true, what is lacking in these belief system is that, we have also in us the power to help ourselves.

In the bible, when Mary was in labor with Jesus, it was people who helped her and Joseph find a suitable place to give birth. It was the Three Kings who gave additional assistance to the holy family. Christmas is all about empowerment, he said. It is about us knowing and believing that we could make things happen for ourselves, our lives, and that we can help this country change for the better. 

In the hundreds of hours I've spent inside the church, I have never heard a priest acknowledge the power and the potency of human capability. Normally, sacred lectures like these concentrate on the power of God, our dependence on him, how everything should be offered and lifted up to him, how we are nothing without his saving grace etc. But his speech was different. Although there is God, looking after us, WE, ourselves, have the power to reach for our dreams and change the world entire. We are not as powerless as we thought we were.

People were already singing the Apostle's Creed while my mind was still reeling from aftershock. This is exactly what I wanted to hear from the church. For them to acknowledge that not all things can be achieved through sole prayer and veneration. At the end of the day, it is OURSELVES that we should believe in, that we have the power within us to achieve our greatest desires and change the world entire.

Come communion time, I can hear people still talking about the homily. I can tell that for people who regularly attend masses, this was a breath of fresh air for them too. It got me thinking, as long as there are young visionaries like father who sees reality as it is and steers away from ancient and impractical beliefs, there is hope for The Great (but slowly crumbling) Catholic Church after all.

Merry Christmas everyone!

**Photos from Google Images

2011 Philippine Blog Awards - List of Winners

LUZON

• Beauty and Fashion - Simply Rins http://www.rina-alcantara.com/
• Culture and Arts - Pop Reviews Now http://www.popreviewsnow.blogspot.com
• Food and Beverage - Our Daily Blog http://regandmitzi.wordpress.com/
• Lifestyle - Bongga Ba http://www.bonggaba.com
• Personal/Diary - The Culture Shack http://www.cultureshacked.blogspot.com/
• PhotoBlog - Lakad Pilipinas http://lakad-pilipinas.blogspot.com/
• Technology - GameOPS http://www.gameops.net/
• Travel - Lakad Pilipinas http://lakad-pilipinas.blogspot.com/

NATIONALS

• Advocacy - Environment Philippines http://www.environmentphilippines.com
• Beauty and Fashion - Jenne Chrisville http://www.jennechrisville.wordpress.com/
• Business - Ready to be Rich http://www.fitzvillafuerte.com
• Culture and Arts - Sining Factory http://www.siningfactory.weebly.com
• Entertainment - Without Wang 2 http://andronico.wordpress.com/
• Food & Beverage - Ralph Guzman // Foodie http://www.ratedralph.com
• Gaming - The Otaku Fridge http://www.otakufridge.com
• Hobbies and Recreation - kuhol.net – cars, culture, competition, community http://kuhol.net/
• Home and Parenting - Dainty Mom http://www.daintymom.com
• Humor - The Professional Heckler http://professionalheckler.wordpress.com
• Lifestyle - Geek Girl Manila http://geekgirlmanila.com/
• Literature - Pointless Paranoia http://www.pointlessparanoia.wordpress.com/
• Personal/Diary - I Am Fickle Cattle http://www.ficklecattle.blogspot.com/
• Photoblog - RosariOko http://www.rosarioko.com
• Society, Politics and History - It's True! It's True! http://www.mistervader.blogspot.com/
• Sports - CebuRunning http://www.ceburunning.com
• Technology - LS Geekster Online http://www.lsgeekster.blogspot.com/
• Travel - We are Sole Sisters http://www.wearesolesisters.com/
• Videocasts and Podcasts - Brink Notes Podcast Network http://www.bncast.com

SPECIAL CATEGORIES

• Filipiniana - Live in the Philippines http://www.liveinthephilippines.com
• Top Video/Podcast - Krimmy Couple: A Korean-Filipino Love Story http://www.mykoreanboyfriend.com/2011/02/krimmy-couple-a-korean-filipino-love-story/ from My Korean Boyfriend http://mykoreanboyfriend.wordpress.com
• Top PhotoPost - 2011: its 1/1/11, a new year and a fresh start http://www.lantaw.blogspot.com/2011/01/2011-its-1111-new-year-and-fresh-start.html from Lantaw http://www.lantaw.blogspot.com
• Top Post - Blood Stains, the Smell of Disinfectant and the RH Bill http://www.orchestroscopy.blogspot.com/2011/05/blood-stains-smell-of-disinfectant-and.html from ORCHESTROSCOPY http://www.orchestroscopy.blogspot.com/
• Best Blog Design - Markable http://www.markable.me/
• Readers' Choice - Culture Shack http://www.cultureshacked.blogspot.com/
• Bloggers Choice - Libre Lang Mangarap http://otep.wordpress.com/

The Speech I Never Got To Deliver - Philippine Blog Awards 2011: Best Single Post Winner

Well, not really. But please, allow me just this once to be perfectly incoherent.

The news that my entry "Blood Stains, the Smell of Disinfectant and the RH Bill" has won the 2011 Philippine Blog Awards for Best Single Post has left me stunned for hours now and has rendered me with the vocabulary of a 6-year-old, mostly comprised of the words "wow" and "thank you". 

I was not even aware that it was a finalist. Imagine my shock when I woke up in the middle of the day and read tweets congratulating me for the said achievement while still half-asleep. After 2 seconds of staring disbelievingly at the screen, I checked my email and, 'lo and behold, there it was, an invitation for the awards ceremony at the Carlos P. Romulo Theater, RCBC Plaza on December 3, 2011 6PM, read 2 days late. 

The sad thing about it is that, this year, I vowed that I would attend the event if ever I make it again to the finals. Last year, when an entry of mine was nominated for Top 3 Posts for 2010, I camped in my room and watched the ceremony live via Ustream. The article lost but the event looked so much fun I promised that the following year, I would drag anyone who's willing and attend the ceremony just for experience sake. 

But then, life happened. A crazy graveyard shift schedule, coupled by lack of sleep, absolute confusion on what day it is and my inability to check my email accounts regularly even if my life depended on it made me miss what could have been one of the most memorable nights of my Writer Life. *enter melodramatic sigh here*

Lamentations aside, I'd like to offer my sincerest gratitude to the organizers and judges of the 2011 Philippine Blog Awards. I know none of the members of the committee personally and have extremely limited blogger friends so it was really a huge surprise to find out that the post won, especially against finalists of such high caliber, including those who have won multiple times in the past.

I still cannot believe that a prestigious award giving body has noticed my humble little brain child. It is such a privilege to be a part of your honor roll. A small part of me is even relieved that I wasn't able to accept the award personally and deliver my 2 minute speech because this blogger is still at a loss for words.

Again, THANK YOU Philippine Blog Awards for this awesome day that has yet to start. Please do continue spreading inspiration and distinction to an art form and advocacy many have yet to acknowledge. Blogging has really come a long way, but the road continues on and is filled with infinite possibilities. I hope to meet you guys along the way. 

Winners of the 2011 Philippine Blog Awards (Photo taken from here.)

Now, if only I could manage to watch a full recording of the awards ceremony, get my wooden carabao trophy and Photoshop myself to this picture, my blogging existence will be complete. ;)

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LINKS:

Finalists, Best Single Post Category

• http://www.philippineblogawards.com.ph/2011/12/01/finalists-for-best-single-post-category/

Winners of the PHILIPPINE BLOG AWARDS 2011

• http://asiancorrespondent.com/71202/winners-of-the-philippine-blog-awards-2011/
• http://www.philippineblogawards.com.ph/2011/12/05/congratulations-to-the-winners-of-the-2011-philippine-blog-awards-nationals/

RN HEALS Batch 2 at QMMC

So it's true. 

All good things come to those who wait. 

In the midst of jubilation after a stunned moment of disbelief, this is probably what came into some of my colleague's minds when we first heard the news that we have been included in DOH's RN HEALS program and will be receiving an allowance of Php 8,000 / month in compensation for our services. Contract is for 1 year.

As a former nurse trainee / volunteer for quite a few months in this institution, the impact of this news to us cannot be done justice with mere words. I guess this is what the fresh grads with no previous hospital training whatsoever but have managed to enter the sought after program will probably never grasp. To serve for so long with just the appreciation of your patients and senior staff members as reward and then be offered this kind of opportunity makes us feel unfathomably blessed.

In behalf of the 150+ previous nurse trainees under the Professional Nurse Training Program, we would like to thank QMMC's administration, Nursing division, and especially our Medical Center Chief who we heard have lobbied for us volunteers to be included in the program. I, myself, have not submitted a single paper directly to the DOH but QMMC made sure that every active volunteer gets included in the list. 

At first, when we heard that the hospital was planning to request for RN HEALS nurses from the DOH to gap the shortage of manpower, we were worried that we, ever faithful PNTPs who have stayed with the hospital for months (some, even years), might be replaced with a whole new set of freshly scrubbed DOH deployed nurses, but the administration pushed through, and here we are.

I never thought I would see the day when I will get to thank the government for something, but, really, our gratitude also goes out to the President and the DOH for making this program possible.

To work with pay in an area you are passionate in, with people you enjoy being with, under the umbrella of a great institution, is truly a wonderful opportunity to have. 

Lastly, even with the feeling of fulfillment of novice nurses who are now being compensated for their work while at the same time learning and honing their craft, the relieved smiles of parents who will not have to spend for their grown-up child's everyday expenses, I truly believe that the ones who will benefit the most here are the PATIENTS.

Gone are the burnt out staff nurses (and trainees) who, if possible, would have split their bodies in half just to serve the various concerns of patients and manage the skyrocketing census. From what I've seen in today's orientation, there are now more than enough skilled minds and bodies to deliver adequate care to those in need. 

It's the perfect win-win situation.

I feel like bursting into a Jordin Sparks American Idol inspired song but I will spare you the agony. All I know is that the local health care system is slowly changing for the better. Congratulations to us all!

DOH Terminates Nurse Volunteer Programs: A Nurse Volunteer's Point of View

In an intelligent and thought-provoking decision, Department of Health Secretary Enrique Ona issued a memorandum terminating all "Nurse Volunteer Programs", "Volunteer Training Program for Nurses" and all similar and related programs, in all DOH-retained hospitals.

64666926 DOH Termination of Nurse Volunteer Programs

While the memorandum brings appealing images to mind (the end of nurse exploitation, employment for licensed registered nurses, respect for the nursing profession etc.), the only effects of the ordinance that is evident right now is public hospitals being grotesquely understaffed, patients suffering from inadequate care from overworked and burnt out staff nurses and entry level nursing graduates experiencing What-The-Hell-Do-I-Do-Now? syndrome.

Two-Way Street

It's not all bullying, over fatigue and slavery that envelops a nurse volunteers life. Not every registered nurse gathers used bottles in a kariton to sell at junk shops just to have money for hospital training fees. These scenarios get featured in news programs and documentary reports because it is dramatic and controversial. Truth of the matter is, nurses volunteer because they choose to practice their profession rather than apply in call centers, have fake accents and answer calls from strangers. They do it to gain leverage in this highly competitive job market.  Because let's face it, no hospital in their right mind will hire a newly licensed nurse with zero post graduate experience.

Please do not underestimate us. We are not slaves, we know what we are doing and we are aware of the situation in these hospitals. We are not shackled to the nursing station with big metal chains, forced to administer medications under duress and monitor vital signs at gunpoint. We were not dragged into an institution to serve against our will but we do it because we want to and, so far, we see the favorable outcome of honing our crafts and sharpening our skills.

Add to that the priceless feeling of having a schedule to follow, a purpose to attend to, every day. One of the hardest things in life is to wake up at numerous mornings in a row and not be able to know what to do that day or the day after that. Plus, there is the relationship and unique bond that is formed with co-trainees, staff nurses and even patients that no bum, useless, non-"slavery" day could replace.

One thing I could completely agree with, though, is that we should not be paying thousands of pesos for these so-called trainings when we have already offered our brains, bodies and licenses for free. That long-standing custom, Secretary Ona, should be the one eternally abolished but NOT, yes you read it right, every training/volunteer program in the country.

A Dead End

So, with all due respect, DOH Secretary Ona, what do you propose we, unemployed registered nurses, do now? 

With Nurse Volunteerism / Nurse Trainings now prohibited in DOH mandated hospitals and NO ADDITIONAL BUDGET given for hiring needed nursing manpower, every one suffers. Staff nurses are reeling from the sudden influx of additional work load, patients are neglected from lack of care from the preposterous nurse-patient ratio and fresh graduates now have no opportunity to practice what they have learned in college, therefore lessening their chances of getting hired by hospitals due to inadequate experience.

Forgive me for this, but I think the memorandum is a hasty band-aid approach to a long and complicated problem of nurse shortages and exploitation in the country. It was a decision without due thought of the various elements that made the despicable nursing trade of our country what it is today. The problem is a hideous many-limbed menace and cutting of one arm will only make it bleed and stagger.

So, again, if I may ask, seriously, WHAT NOW?

Top 10 Rules for Boyfriends

No.10 NEVER CHEAT. This is self explanatory. And yes, cheating includes being "best friends" with a girl you've just met last week. At the same time, if you do stay faithful, DO NOT parade your fidelity like it's some rare feat of undying love. Please be advised that faithfulness in a relationship is a GIVEN and not an elusive trait that should be treated with utmost gratitude and reverence.

No.9 ALWAYS offer to take your girlfriend home no matter what. Even if it's high noon and the sun is at its brightest and the criminals of the country are probably still hibernating in their mission control centers, do accompany her home. She needs to know that you do this because you really are concerned about her safety and wants to spend every available time with her and not because you fear the wrath of her parents if she arrives home late without a chaperon. 

No.8 If you both don't have work or class and your girlfriend asks you to go out with her, do not make excuses that you're a) exhausted b) don't have money c) have a basketball game later and d) doing the laundry. Her invitation just means she's willing to sacrifice her free day to be with you in expense of being rested in preparation for another week of backbreaking work. Make time. Make every EFFORT to be with her.

No.7 If your girlfriend asks you to write her a love letter, write her a goddamn love letter. It doesn't matter if you're not the sentimental scrapbooking type of guy or have horrendous grammar, just do it. It doesn't have to be pretty nor poetic, it just has to be real and heartfelt. And even if you are illiterate, she will appreciate crudely drawn symbols on a tissue paper, trust me. All you need is a pen and paper, it's not that hard.

No.6 NEVER ask for stuff that can be bought with money during gift-giving seasons like Christmas or birthdays. This includes looking at expensive items at the department store and hinting that you are in desperate need of them. If ever she asks you what do you want for your birthday, the correct answer would be, "Your love is all I need," (or some sweet cliched derivative of that) and not, "A new cellphone."

No.5 Appreciate her interests, talents and accomplishments. If she writes an article that garnered good reviews and became semi-viral and you're allergic to reading, swallow up your manly pride and READ HER WORDS. If she likes hanging out in bookstores and you get hives when standing within 3 meters from a book shelf, have patience and understand her passions the same way she doesn't complain when you take her to numerous athletic stores she has no interest in while looking for some gadget she knows nothing about.

No.4 A) Do random romantic acts of affection. Once in a while, buy her a gift for no apparent reason. Post on her Facebook wall, text her cheesy quotes, show up in her workplace out of the blue and accompany her home. Tell her you love her everyday, not because of routine, but because you mean it. SHOW HER how much she means to you, not because she wants you to, but because you want to make her happy and her smile lights up your world.

B) If your girlfriend asks you to call or text her at least once a day, please take note that this number is the bare minimum. It doesn't mean that if you do meet the quota, everything is fine and that she's extremely happy that you've somehow managed to allocate 30 seconds of your precious time and spend P1 load in her honor.

No.3 NEVER let the woman pay for anything, even if she insists, even if her bank account is fatter than yours. If you go out on a date, make sure you pay for everything, including the transportation, movie and dinner. A woman looks for a good provider, and one of the worst things that could happen is you asking your girlfriend for the 16-peso Jeepney fare in front of numerous passengers. If money is a problem though, make sure you compensate by being the sweetest and most caring lover she has ever known. Money does make the world go round but love is still far more powerful than pieces of paper that could buy stuff.

No.2 Be the Prince Charming in every fairy tale that she has ever watched. Be the Noah Calhoun of her Allie, the Mr. Darcy of her Elizabeth Bennet., the Romeo of her Juliet. Love her the way Severus Snape loved Lily Potter. These may be fictional characters but women dream of their stories and wish they would happen in real life. Make her fantasies a reality and she will offer you everything that she's got.

and the No.1 Rule for Boyfriends is...

No.1 Realize all these before it's too late.

**Photos taken from Tumblr.

Psychology of Love: Intimacy vs. Isolation

I cannot believe I actually had the nerve to pass this write-up to my Psychiatric Nursing clinical instructor back in 4th year college almost 3 years ago. I cannot even remember what was the actual instruction of the assignment or what the essay was supposed to be about although I do recall having to write about something connected with the various theories of Psychology, whether if about the works of Freud or Erikson or even Maslow. Either way, it seems like I was feeling hostile towards formal writing the day so this was what came out. 

Intimacy vs. Isolation (Erik Erikson)

A friend of mine asked me, quite randomly, what, for me, the reason for loving is. Why do we love? Why do you love him? Why do you love her? What are the things that he/she does to make you do so? What do we really get from loving when, most of the time, we receive much less than what we actually give? 

I know quite a lot of people who can’t wait to love. Can’t wait to fall in love. Let’s face it, most people think of the word love is directly associated with the ever-so-popular boy/girl relationship (can now be boy/boy or girl/girl, whichever you prefer), me included. So let’s delve on that. 

Putting aside the lackluster best-friends-forever-relationships and the often tear-stained familial attachments, let’s nose-dive into the more chaotic details of love. The “I-would-die-for-you” love. The “can’t-wait-to-see/hug/kiss/coitus-you-mwah-mwah” kind of affection. It’s messy, it’s crazy and most people end up more hurt and depressed than they ever felt after the brief mischievous glimpse of happiness. Then why do we do it? More so, why do we want it? Why do we so desperately need it? 

If you’re Sigmund Freud, you would probably say that it’s all because of sex and pleasure. A whole lot of pleasure. It’s all about the genitalia, baby, and it needs all the attention that it can get. If you’re Erik Erickson, however, you would say that having a fulfilling intimate relationship with another human being other than your forever loyal family and your ever so trustworthy friends is your developmental task at that point in time. Accomplish your tasks or else you’ll end up emotionally scarred and fixated for all eternity. *shakes head* 

If you’re like some, let’s say, liberated people I know, you plunge into relationships because you want experience. You want to know what it’s like when Tom Cruise whispered “You complete me.” to Renee Zallwegger, how it feels like to be kissed in the rain and make hot love in an abandoned cabin with the fogged up windows and the rising music like Noah Calhoun and that perpetually confused girl in The Notebook. Or perhaps, you just want to have somebody to display to your friends and to the world. Being “taken” is a social status after all. 

If you’re like me… well, things are much simpler. 

Because even though love sometimes can hurt more than it can make you happy, it can drain all of your remaining energy and rationality, it could leave you miserable and suicidal and in desperate need for anti-depressants (worst comes to worst anti-psychotics and a trip to your nearest mental institution), you cannot deny that at least a moment in time, you felt that indescribable feeling of pure floating-in-the-air kind of bliss, that out-of-this-world sensation of being with the one you love. It may only last for a few hours or mere seconds but that doesn't diminish its value. And the memory will be forever embedded in us for the rest of our lives. 

All in all, as my favorite fictional professor put it: 

 “Why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short run and be so painful? I think it's because, as some of you may already know ... While it does last, it feels fucking great.”

Glasses or (Colored) Contact Lenses: Do You Really Have To Ask?

I've been partially blind for practically half of my life. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but seriously, since 6th grade, I needed something to aid my vision or else I would bump into posts, greet the wrong people and fall into manholes. I'm nearsighted as a... very nearsighted creature and honestly, I will not be able to read the laptop screen that I'm staring at right now if not for my glasses.

This handicap has paved the way for the inevitable geekiness that came with wearing glasses in high school. The years I've spent with wire and glass sitting grotesquely at the top of my nose were the moments I felt most unattractive. I honestly felt shackled by this evil contraption on my face.

Then, the sun appeared and the heavens parted. Contact lenses entered my life and my existence returned to normal. No more need to have a clean cloth handy to wipe off smudge, no fogged up vision when eating soup, no more pesky rain splotches on my glasses that made me think they should have a built in wiper like those in windshields of cars. To cut it short and make it more dramatic than it should, contact lenses saved my life.

Now, for the longest time, I've been wearing clear ones, obviously with grade, but I've been meaning to try on colored contact lenses since late last year but never get around to actually do it. I've been convincing myself that it's not vain to do so because I actually do wear ones anyway for the correction of my vision problems. 

See, I poke fun at people who go all the trouble of buying, cleaning, managing dry eyes and other irritations just for the sole purpose of having different colored eyes. It's too much hassle for a cinnamon or charcoal colored iris, not to mention expensive.

Now, as fate would have it, the last time I went to Executive Optical, they didn't have the grade of the clear contacts I was supposed to by. The optometrist there sales talked me into buying a colored one, which surprisingly turned out to be cheaper than the clear version, and ultimately I went home with my very first poser iris lenses.

In hindsight though, I wish I didn't try on their testers in the store. 

I asked for the most subtle colors they have, ones that won't make me look like a trying-hard Caucasian wannabe. I was given a choice between Cinnamon and Amethyst. The lady said I could try both to see which one looked better. So I did. 

It was after leaving the store that I realized that these lenses that they have for fittings were not being sanitized properly but just cleaned with ordinary solution and stored in this airtight bottle. What did I expect anyway, that they autoclave it? But still, I just think it's unsafe to have these lenses tried on by different people without first establishing that they are free from any infections. I still love the EO shop but I don't think I will ever let those communal contact lenses touch my sclera again.

That said, I'm pretty fond of my Amethyst eyes but getting bored of it pretty quickly. I didn't pick it because of the violet tinge but because, out of the two, it looked less conspicuous. There was almost no difference, except for the slight doll eyes effect. Now, I wished I had picked the more obvious one just for the kicks. But hey, there's still an entire lifetime to try lenses in all the colors of the rainbow.

It's not like my eyesight's getting better.

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Will Continue On Living

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will be leaving the theaters in a few weeks. By then, all billboards, posters and advertisements will be taken down and replaced with scantily clad models trying to sell bikinis in this monsoon season. Worse comes to worst, they will be replaced with Edward Cullen's bloodless face sparkling in the sunlight. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. Kill me already.

So is this really it? Is the epic journey over? Is our generation of quality literature and commendable role-model characters left orphaned by the conclusion of the film franchise? Will hormone induced sex-crazed supernatural teenagers take over the theaters, bookstore and Internet fandoms?

I don't think so.

I am a Harry Potter fan from the very beginning but I'm not one who fawns over movie premieres and merchandise. Offer me a genuine "wand" direct from the Hogwarts set and I won't know what to do with it. Gift me a shirt with Daniel Radcliffe's face on it and I probably won't wear it outside the house. But write me a superb, addicting and exceptionally-written story about any character in any place inside JK Rowling's magical world and I'll remember it forever.

Movie or no movie, it's the characters that I'm in love with together with the Wizarding World we have all lived in. It's the taste of Butterbeer in the coldness of winter, it's the unpredictability of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, the mystery in the secret rooms of Hogwarts, the childish pleasures of doing magic in the corridors and the comfort and warmth of snuggling by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It's the world in my head that makes Harry Potter special, not these million dollar productions. And it can and will survive without them.

See, the movie may have rolled its final credits, but Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is still very much alive in the hearts of many. As long as there is imagination, creativity, love and appreciation for the enthralling world we have lived in for more than a decade, Harry will continue on living in the childhood of this generation, and in the hearts of millions to come.

And in the future, decades after this day, if ever a grandchild catches me excitedly watching one of the eight movies or lovingly perusing with misty eyes a Harry Potter book, and asks me, "After all this time?"

To quote the Boy Who Loved, Severus Snape, my answer would be: "Always."

A Final Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

This may very well be the last time I would get to write a Harry Potter film review, for the highly successful franchise has cast its last spell and will be closing its curtains forever. There will be no casting choices left to  scrutinize, no deleted scenes to be angry about, no trailers to look forward to and no more movie date release to anticipate with bated breath.

It all ends with this.

And what a magical swan song it was. From the moment the WB logo floated onscreen up to the rolling of the credits, it was a thrilling spectacle ride for readers and non-fans alike. Having worshiped the books from the start, I am the kind of anal retentive movie-goer who frowns upon changed scenes and plot cuts. Fortunately, neither was rampant in this David Yates' masterpiece.

Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows was packed with action, spells and rubble from start 'till finish. One need not know what the bloody hell is happening just as long as one is aware that Harry's the protagonist and the bald guy with the non-existent nose is the evil one and it will still be enjoyable to watch. Even my Muggle  movie companion was mesmerized by the sheer brilliance of almost every scene. It was a breathtaking experience to witness the Wizarding World in shambles. One can really tell that this is the final hurrah and Harry is determined to go with a final bang.


THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS

The film wasted no time in trying to explain the complicated aspects of Wandlore nor Dumbledore's shady past, and for that I am grateful. There is no way you could explain that much information to an illiterate audience who did not even care to crack open a single Harry Potter book. Instead, the screenwriters decided to tone down the plot details and hyped up the chaos and pandemonium, which translated better on the big screen. It was a wise decision indeed.

And as our heroic Trio found themselves back in Hogwarts, the plot and my heart took flight. This was it. This was the moment we've all been waiting for. The Great Battle. The ultimate war between the power of love and love of power. And I think every reader could attest that there was distinct feeling of thrill, exhilaration and awe upon watching the scene unfold right before our very eyes.

As with the book, the moment Professor McGonagall animated the once lifeless suits of armors and exclaimed, "Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect us!"  and the remaining faculty started to take matters in their own hands and use their highly developed skills in magic, chills ran down my spine. 

There is something astounding about finally seeing rather than just imagining. The impressive protective sphere, the spells, the fire, the rubble, the smoke and the thundering music set the perfect atmosphere for the raging battle that has yet to come. I could not have asked for a better set design. This was the battle of all battles, the final duel between good and evil, and it sure felt like it.

The scenes were reasonably paced, with the hunt of Ravenclaw's lost diadem, the Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement, the duels and the overall pandemonium inside the once peaceful halls of Hogwarts. It all blended together in this wonderful adrenaline-induced cacophony that could make Lord of the Rings proud.

THE PRINCE'S TALE

A review of Deathly Hallows Part II would not be complete without the mention of the unbelievably accurate portrayal of Alan Rickman to the endlessly complex and brilliant character that is Severus Snape. I will admit, the chapter entitled "The Prince's Tale" of the 7th book is my most read chapter in the entire series. I prefer my characters complicated, dark and with a secret that could shatter thousands of hearts, and that is exactly what JK Rowling did with our once hated Potions Master. 

Before the release of Deathly Hallows the novel, I remember all the talks behind the power of Harry's green eyes, because in countless of interviews, our queen creator has mentioned that it will play a big role in the final book. Nobody could understand it and probably very few speculations got it right. The shock that it was not some supernatural power never before witnessed by the Wizarding world but just, yet again, the uncontainable force of love, blew me away. And reduced me to a blubbering goopy mess the moment Harry stepped out of the Pensieve.

It is for this reason that I fell in love with this character who was often described as greasy and bat-like. Because it shows that everybody hurts, yet everybody loves. And no matter how despicable a certain person looks from the outside, if you just care to look a bit further, there would be always something there that could surprise you.

Okay, then. Now back to the movie.

THE FLAW IN THE PLAN

I think the only criticism I could give is that the closing battle at Hogwarts (the one which transpired after Harry came back to life) was underwhelming at best. Where were the centaurs, who upon seeing Harry's lifeless body decided to take a stand and fight against Voldemort? Where were the House Elves who have valiantly left the kitchens to stab Death Eaters in the ankles with paring knives? Where were the ordinary village people of Hogsmeade who overcame their fear of the Dark Lord, left their barrels of butterbear and came to fight alongside the wounded students of Hogwarts?

I know no single feature film could meet the millions of wild imaginations, all of which have created their own version of the epic final battle in their heads, but I just feel like these details shouldn't have been left out. It was the turning point in the book, showing how united the Wizarding World was in defeating a powerful tyrant. I regret to say that it was the only part of the film that felt sloppy and hastily made. 

However, I do understand why the producers felt there has to be an intense one-on-one battle slash chase scene between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort, with both running around the castle physically trying to destroy each other ala Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader's final Lightsaber match. It's a cinematic staple, a sort of movie template every great archenemies are expected to have.

However, in this case, I can't help but feel how out of character those scenes were. First of all, never could I remember imagining Voldemort run, much less chase Harry around Hogwarts. A little longer and I would have expected both to be pulling each other's hair, if Voldemort had hair.

But still, epicness prevailed. The ultimate end of Voldemort was much more silent than I anticipated, with just the wands doing all the talking, but the concluding image of the once feared sorcerer slowly dissolving to ashes was a satisfying image. 

NINETEEN YEARS LATER

And it all came to a full circle.

Platform 9 3/4: In the middle of the busy bustling train station filled with families and cages of various kinds of pets, we see them.


Ginny sporting Mom Hair, Harry looking basically the same, some random kids who are supposed to be James and Lily (both of whom nobody really cares about) and then there he was... Albus Severus Justin Potter Bieber.

Then there was Ron with his beer belly, Hermione who also looked quite the same and Draco Malfoy who just looked... weird.

The next generation of talented mischief managing wizards were on their way to Hogwarts. And we were left with the image of our beloved trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione looking wistfully on.

As a fan, I expected a lot and quite honestly, those expectations were mostly met. The film is a perfect mix of action, suspense, horror, comedy and a little bit of romance. It has a heart as big as Harry's, wit as sharp as Hermione's and loyalty to the novel that could make Ron proud. 


Thank you for giving the end of my childhood justice.


Orchestr-o-meter: Thousand points to David Yates & Co. !