Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) Review

As much as I am a Twilight basher, I have shamelessly watched all the 3 previous movies and read the novels that came out of the franchise. Why? Just to have the right to have an opinion, mostly. I cannot insult what I know nothing about. Anyway, this was the year that I thought I would not be able to write my annual sarcasm-infused Twilight movie-of-the-year review because of time constraints, but 'lo and behold, here it is. I may not be my usual gritty self because of the crippling pain in my bleeding uterus, but I'll do my best.

For the record, I was not able to read the novel. Even the lure of using a new gadget and reading with my much anticipated iBooks app was not enough to make me endure the childish, whiny and self-centered contents of Bella Swan's thoughts. That, and of course, and Stephanie Meyer's horrid writing. I told myself that the movie was bound to be more interesting than the book, as with what happened when New Moon came out when the film actually made it seem that the literary version has a story to tell.

That said, with just the slightest idea of the plot as told by a friend, here is what I thought about the underworld's newest sparkly blockbuster hit.

First off, the movie started out like a bad fanfiction reenactment. I have read too many fan-made chapters of fluff and smut to know what cheesy plotlessness is and the first 30-45 minutes of Breaking Dawn Part I epitomizes just that. I have no idea which was taken from the book or were just put there for visual purposes, but no amount of cinematography could save almost an hour of teary-eyed parental goodbyes and PG-13 make-out sessions.

Side note: Honestly, what were Bella's parents on when they decided to let their just-graduated-from-high-school 18-year-old daughter marry an unemployed undergrad with a bad case of anemia? I mean, seriously. As far as I know, this isn't the 18th century where the only goal of a women in her life is to marry young and marry wealthy ala Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

Moving on, I have to give it up for Taylor Lautner for an awesome performance as always. Just when the audience was getting sick of all the make-out sessions with Bella and Edward on the beach, bed, waterfalls, sofa, beside a chess set, he comes in with just the right intensity before the whole films turns into vampire-themed porn. But seriously, Jacob Black was awesome in this movie, his almost photoshopped beach-ready human body is just as adorable with his cuddly It's-so-fluffy-I-wanna-die wolf form.

As for the plot, I really don't think the book needed to be split into two movies. There wasn't much that went on in this half and I feel that the movie would've have been actually great (action packed and with good pacing) if done in totality. It was not like in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where too much has happened that squeezing everything into one big production without the scenes being rushed is next to impossible. This is a classic example of big companies who want bigger profit in expense of quality and artistry.

Wait, quality and artistry? This is Twilight we're talking about, who am I kidding?

All in all, even having skipped the book, I believe the production has done all that they can with the little they have to work with. It has succeeded again in making the book more interesting even to non-fans with that cliffhanger ending. I may probably end up picking up where I left off, page 10 I think of the Breaking Dawn novel. 

Nah, probably not.

Orchestr-o-meter: C

No Other Woman (2011) Review and Hilarious One-Liners

It's not that I don't like watching local mainstream films in the cinema, it's just that I don't think they're worth the money. I know that sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth. With streaming movies on the Internet and P50 pirated DVDs, at this day and age, you better make sure that you get what you're paying for when watching flicks straight from the big screen. The last local movie I've watched was Enteng Kabisote using a special promo ticket where we got to watch the film for free and sad to say, it's not even worth the P10 we paid for tax.

That said, I still can't believe I got dragged into this movie under the lure of spending time with co-volunteers and staff in the institution I am currently serving in. But surprisingly, for a local mainstream movie, it was pretty enjoyable, or just unintentionally funny, I can't be sure.

The strength of the movie lies in its script, this is an understatement. With a predictable plot (especially the cheesy I-saw-that-arc-a-mile-away-I-can't-believe-you're-using-that-scene-AGAIN ending) and lukewarm to just plain bad acting from its lead stars (Anne Curtis was an exception, she was phenomenal), it is the witty laugh out loud "banats" that people look for in this kind of movie, and boy, did it deliver.

The audience was roaring with laughter a quarter of the way into the film. Kudos to whoever the screenwriter was that thought of these great lines. (I can't remember the characters' names so I'll just put in the actor's names instead.)

NO OTHER WOMAN ONE-LINERS

Carmi Martin to Christine Reyes: Panahon na para i-pack-up ‘yang si Lucy Torres mo. Ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Sabi nga niya sa Magkaribal, ‘You want war? I’ll give you war.’ Anak, ako na ang bahala sa red stilettos mo!

Chrstine Reyes to Anne Curtis: Sabi nila, a way to a man’s heart s through his stomach.

Sa ganda mong yan, siguro madami kang alam na shortcuts.

Christine Reyes: Alam mo kasi ang marriage parang exclusive village.

Kailangan mong bantayan para hindi makapasok ang mga squatters.

Christine Reyes: Why don’t you have dinner with us tonight, pa thank you ko na rin dahil kinuha mo ang asawa ko.

Anne Curtis: I’m sorry?

Christine Reyes: Bilang supplier ng furniture para sa resort niyo.

Christine Reyes: Bikini mo ba iyan o balat mo? (referring to Anne’s snake-skin printed bathing suit)

Carmi Martin: Kung ahas siya mas ahas ako! Tahimik pero kapag kinanti – nanunuklaw! 

Christine Reyes: Baka makita mo pang nilalagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain mo. Joke lang. Medyo off yung humor ko lately.

Christine's Friend (forgot the name): Naku. Ganyan talaga kapag galing sa makating dikya, nagmamarka. (Referring to a kiss mark on Derek’s neck)

And the famous...

Carmi Martin: Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher, maagawan ka, lumaban ka!

Christine Reyes: Tsaka ano bang mahirap kalaban? Yung putang mahirap o yung putang mayaman?

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun!

My favorite line:

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun! Ang mayaman bumibili ng Hermes sa mall, ang mahirap bumibili ng Hermes sa Greenhills!

So yes, aside from these great lines, there's really nothing more this movie has to offer unless you think Derek Ramsey's sex scene with two different beautiful ladies add weight to the quality of the movie. Still, it's a great flick to watch with rowdy friends. You will all end up making fun of Christine Reyes' dramatic scene in the end and the disgustingly predictable ending. Good times.

DOH Terminates Nurse Volunteer Programs: A Nurse Volunteer's Point of View

In an intelligent and thought-provoking decision, Department of Health Secretary Enrique Ona issued a memorandum terminating all "Nurse Volunteer Programs", "Volunteer Training Program for Nurses" and all similar and related programs, in all DOH-retained hospitals.

64666926 DOH Termination of Nurse Volunteer Programs

While the memorandum brings appealing images to mind (the end of nurse exploitation, employment for licensed registered nurses, respect for the nursing profession etc.), the only effects of the ordinance that is evident right now is public hospitals being grotesquely understaffed, patients suffering from inadequate care from overworked and burnt out staff nurses and entry level nursing graduates experiencing What-The-Hell-Do-I-Do-Now? syndrome.

Two-Way Street

It's not all bullying, over fatigue and slavery that envelops a nurse volunteers life. Not every registered nurse gathers used bottles in a kariton to sell at junk shops just to have money for hospital training fees. These scenarios get featured in news programs and documentary reports because it is dramatic and controversial. Truth of the matter is, nurses volunteer because they choose to practice their profession rather than apply in call centers, have fake accents and answer calls from strangers. They do it to gain leverage in this highly competitive job market.  Because let's face it, no hospital in their right mind will hire a newly licensed nurse with zero post graduate experience.

Please do not underestimate us. We are not slaves, we know what we are doing and we are aware of the situation in these hospitals. We are not shackled to the nursing station with big metal chains, forced to administer medications under duress and monitor vital signs at gunpoint. We were not dragged into an institution to serve against our will but we do it because we want to and, so far, we see the favorable outcome of honing our crafts and sharpening our skills.

Add to that the priceless feeling of having a schedule to follow, a purpose to attend to, every day. One of the hardest things in life is to wake up at numerous mornings in a row and not be able to know what to do that day or the day after that. Plus, there is the relationship and unique bond that is formed with co-trainees, staff nurses and even patients that no bum, useless, non-"slavery" day could replace.

One thing I could completely agree with, though, is that we should not be paying thousands of pesos for these so-called trainings when we have already offered our brains, bodies and licenses for free. That long-standing custom, Secretary Ona, should be the one eternally abolished but NOT, yes you read it right, every training/volunteer program in the country.

A Dead End

So, with all due respect, DOH Secretary Ona, what do you propose we, unemployed registered nurses, do now? 

With Nurse Volunteerism / Nurse Trainings now prohibited in DOH mandated hospitals and NO ADDITIONAL BUDGET given for hiring needed nursing manpower, every one suffers. Staff nurses are reeling from the sudden influx of additional work load, patients are neglected from lack of care from the preposterous nurse-patient ratio and fresh graduates now have no opportunity to practice what they have learned in college, therefore lessening their chances of getting hired by hospitals due to inadequate experience.

Forgive me for this, but I think the memorandum is a hasty band-aid approach to a long and complicated problem of nurse shortages and exploitation in the country. It was a decision without due thought of the various elements that made the despicable nursing trade of our country what it is today. The problem is a hideous many-limbed menace and cutting of one arm will only make it bleed and stagger.

So, again, if I may ask, seriously, WHAT NOW?

FILIPINO: Language of the Streets (On James Soriano's "Language, learning, identity, privilage")

How fitting it is that in this "Buwan ng Wika" we see an article written by an Ateneo de Manila University student and a columnist on Manila Bulletin online about the flaws and inadequacy of the Filipino language. Understandably, the write-up has raised a more than a few eyebrows, but before we lash out the argumentum ad hominems that will sure to follow once this news hit the pinnacle of internet fame, let us first try to fully understand the writer's sentiments and dig out the naked truths behind the crude almost-insults.

"Language, learning, identity, privilege" 

by James Soriano

MANILA, Philippines — English is the language of learning. I’ve known this since before I could go to school. As a toddler, my first study materials were a set of flash cards that my mother used to teach me the English alphabet.  

My mother made home conducive to learning English: all my storybooks and coloring books were in English, and so were the cartoons I watched and the music I listened to. She required me to speak English at home. She even hired tutors to help me learn to read and write in English. 

In school I learned to think in English. We used English to learn about numbers, equations and variables. With it we learned about observation and inference, the moon and the stars, monsoons and photosynthesis. With it we learned about shapes and colors, about meter and rhythm. I learned about God in English, and I prayed to Him in English.  

Filipino, on the other hand, was always the ‘other’ subject — almost a special subject like PE or Home Economics, except that it was graded the same way as Science, Math, Religion, and English. My classmates and I used to complain about Filipino all the time. Filipino was a chore, like washing the dishes; it was not the language of learning. It was the language we used to speak to the people who washed our dishes.  

We used to think learning Filipino was important because it was practical: Filipino was the language of the world outside the classroom. It was the language of the streets: it was how you spoke to the tindera when you went to the tindahan, what you used to tell your katulong that you had an utos, and how you texted manong when you needed “sundo na.”  

These skills were required to survive in the outside world, because we are forced to relate with the tinderas and the manongs and the katulongs of this world. If we wanted to communicate to these people — or otherwise avoid being mugged on the jeepney — we needed to learn Filipino.  

That being said though, I was proud of my proficiency with the language. Filipino was the language I used to speak with my cousins and uncles and grandparents in the province, so I never had much trouble reciting.  

It was the reading and writing that was tedious and difficult. I spoke Filipino, but only when I was in a different world like the streets or the province; it did not come naturally to me. English was more natural; I read, wrote and thought in English. And so, in much of the same way that I learned German later on, I learned Filipino in terms of English. In this way I survived Filipino in high school, albeit with too many sentences that had the preposition ‘ay.’  

It was really only in university that I began to grasp Filipino in terms of language and not just dialect. Filipino was not merely a peculiar variety of language,derived and continuously borrowing from the English and Spanish alphabets; it was its own system, with its own grammar, semantics, sounds, even symbols. 

But more significantly, it was its own way of reading, writing, and thinking. There are ideas and concepts unique to Filipino that can never be translated into another. Try translating bayanihan, tagay, kilig or diskarte.  

Only recently have I begun to grasp Filipino as the language of identity: the language of emotion, experience, and even of learning. And with this comes the realization that I do, in fact, smell worse than a malansang isda. My own language is foreign to me: I speak, think, read and write primarily in English. To borrow the terminology of Fr. Bulatao, I am a split-level Filipino.  

But perhaps this is not so bad in a society of rotten beef and stinking fish. For while Filipino may be the language of identity, it is the language of the streets. It might have the capacity to be the language of learning, but it is not the language of the learned.  

It is neither the language of the classroom and the laboratory, nor the language of the boardroom, the court room, or the operating room. It is not the language of privilege. I may be disconnected from my being Filipino, but with a tongue of privilege I will always have my connections.  

So I have my education to thank for making English my mother language.

Source:  http://showbiznest.blogspot.com/2011/08/james-soriano-language-learning.html (Manila Bulletin's copy of the article is not accessible.)

Source:http://www.thefilipinodiaspora.com/2011_03_03_archive.html  

Let's see. First of all, I don't think this is satire. And if it is, then I think it's a badly written one. That said, I think this article is a perfect mix of downright insulting statements and stinging facts.

Let me tell you a story. When I was a kid, I was also barraged with the English language. My parents spoke to me in English, read to me books in English and later on I learned to write in English. I am not kidding when I say I cannot write a passable paragraph in completely grammatically correct Tagalog. I would struggle with our composition writing in Filipino in high school yet the words just flow through me when it was in English. 

Now, almost everything that I write on the Internet is in English, including blog posts, articles, status updates, tweets and comments. I also aced my IELTS exam with two 9s and an 8.5 over-all band score (9 is the highest possible score). 

Am I proud of having a decent command of the English language? Yes. Do I think lowly or make fun of people who can't string two English words together? Sometimes, that I will admit. Do I think of the Filipino language as the dialect of the poor and the unlearned? Definitely, NOT!

Filipino was a chore, like washing the dishes; it was not the language of learning. It was the language we used to speak to the people who washed our dishes.   

It was the language of the streets: it was how you spoke to the tindera when you went to the tindahan, what you used to tell your katulong that you had an utos, and how you texted manong when you needed “sundo na.”  

This, my friends, is the language of the rich, with the American accent and the posh cadence with pieces of Tagalog words thrown in between sentences. It's the "Let's make baka, don't be takot" kind of vernacular only heard from the elite. I've had the unenviable chance to actually hear this peculiar language with my own ears a few years back. I always thought the impressions I've heard from other people were just exaggerations, but it was real.

The erroneous thing about these paragraphs is labeling the Filipino language as the language of the streets just because it is the common people who mostly use it. But what about the timeless literature written in this beautiful language? Or the OPM songs that still holds boundless power with their burning lyrics and melody?

Filipino was not merely a peculiar variety of language,derived and continuously borrowing from the English and Spanish alphabets; it was its own system, with its own grammar, semantics, sounds, even symbols. 

Halfway through the article, I thought we're finally getting through the heart of the piece. That after whipping our dialect to pieces, he would then rebuild it again with patriotic messages that would make the language shine with beauty and grace. But then he followed it up with sentences that I think were both the best and the worst of the piece.

For while Filipino may be the language of identity, it is the language of the streets. It might have the capacity to be the language of learning, but it is not the language of the learned.  

It is neither the language of the classroom and the laboratory, nor the language of the boardroom, the court room, or the operating room. It is not the language of privilege.

Although I do not agree with the writer's sentiments that Filipino is the language of the streets, I do concur that it is, somehow, the language of the learned. 

"Ako Mismo" Photo by Yjanas

Now the painful part. My dear countrymen, let us admit it. How many subjects in the classroom are taught in Filipino? How many subpoenas and legal documents are written in Filipino? How about in the hospital or in any facets of the medical field? How do you translate Caesarian Section to Filipino anyway? What about Engineering terms? Chemistry? Math? Heck, even our educated senators in the senate were arguing recently on the use of the Filipino language during the RH Bill interpellation.

Before we charge at James Soriano with pitchforks and smoking ears while simultaneously proudly baring the patriotic stance, let us first look at the world around us. 

How many public signs in the metro can you spot written in Filipino? What about restaurant menus? Instruction manuals? If you call somebody using your cellphone and you could not contact them or inquire for your load balance, what language is the message in? If Google was set by default in Tagalog, can you actually find your way around without getting confused?

Lastly, how far can you go without speaking a single non-Filipino word in a day?

My point is this. The author may have carelessly labelled Filipino as the language of the streets and the unlearned but we, ourselves, have degraded the language into something undecipherable. Something that would have trouble standing on its own without foreign help. 

Globalization plans, proliferation of call centers training agents to have fake accents, the mentality that English equals Intelligence, Jejemon and text messaging culture have ripped off the glory from our national language. 

Though the article may have the tone and the content to rub people the wrong way, it delivers a semblance of truth most citizens would not dare swallow. I guess until we learn to open our eyes to the facts and do something about it, our own language would still continue on being the second best and indefinite.

And so will our identity.

I Am NOT Offended by Mideo Cruz's Poleteismo

Mideo Cruz's artwork at the CCP has incited the latest war between the wrinkled perspective of the conservative Catholic church and the new-age mentality of a secularism and freedom. 

It seems like, these days, the CBCP is against any kind of liberty may it be of choice or expression. But then, what can we expect from people who live their lives stringently following a book written thousands of years ago and thinks of their own opinion as the voice of a higher being?

Many people were insulted, to the point of throwing threats of eternal damnation and even committing vandalism. Honestly, I would like to think that God was more disappointed with these kind of actions than the artwork itself.

Because, if you come to think of it, God is an all-knowing omnipotent being who created the entire universe. Why would he care about some tiny mortal speck in the galaxy who happened to "deface" what humans believe is his image?

For the record, I think the art is tasteless albeit courageous in its own way in trying to paint a picture of our society. It could be presented with less disturbing aesthetics, I think, but then who am I to dictate what an artist should and should not do?

I would understand the rage and the need for censorship if the artwork was publicly displayed in EDSA like those billboards of half-naked beautiful people. I would actually agree for it to be taken down if that were the case. The difference between EDSA and the CCP is that the former is a public place, where thousands of people pass without restrictions, including innocent children and unsuspecting pedestrians while the latter is... well, can you remember the last time you went to the CCP to look at artwork?

The point is this, people who went to the CCP and had the chance to set their eyes on the controversial images know what they were in for. This is precisely the reason for ratings in movies, so that one would enter the theater expecting to see or not to see explicit material.

The freedom of expression of holding the exhibit inside the confines of the CCP cannot be compared to the erroneous freedom of a man who wants to run naked in the middle of Intramuros. Let us remember, the exhibit is not some scandalous commotion in the middle of Quiapo that would rob people of their right to worship in peace without seeing disturbing material on their way to the confessional booths. It is actually tucked inside the haven of an artists' center and available only to those who are willing to see it. 

This is precisely what I see wrong in CBCP's almighty appeal to close down the CCP. One person's freedom ends where another person's freedom begins. Mideo Cruz has the freedom to create artworks such as these and I have the freedom to view it with my own eyes or not. Where is the evil in that?

And since we're on the topic of "blasphemous" material that would bring forth God's wrath and Satan's incinerating tongues of everlasting flame, I think I found more "insulting" material on YouTube. 

CBCP, I dare you to sue YouTube.com and the creators of these videos. They've certainly insulted this country's fine sensitivities with regards to the pious image of our dear Jesus Christ, far more than a crucifix with condom or a penis ashtray could, don't you think?

Top 10 Glee Songs (Season TWO)

10. Songbird (Santana)

Episode: Rumors

There's something about Santana's voice that is just breathtaking in this rendition of an old, almost never-before-heard song that this generation certainly doesn't know. Her heartfelt performance and superb tone just brings me chills.

9. Thriller / Heads Will Roll (New Directions)

Episode: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

I didn't really like this episode because not only did the plot felt forced but it was obvious that everything was written so it could wrap itself up to the climax of this performance. That said, it was still a great and energetic glee version of a decade's anthem.

8. Last Christmas (Rachel and Finn)

Episode: A Very Glee Christmas 

As much as I find the whole Rachel and Finn love arc quite boring and devoid of any kind of chemistry, this holiday duet brings fond memories of Christmas trees, food and presents every time I hear it play. Also, I love how the intro just screams Glee.

7. Get It Right (Rachel Berry)

Episode: Original Song

Of all the original tunes Glee managed to create, I think this one was the best.

6. Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer (New Directions)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Just kick ass. 'Nuff said.

5. Toxic (New Directions)

Episode: Britney / Brittany

It is in these kind of moments when I appreciate the covers Glee does to previously popular tunes. Remaking pink and fluffy pop song into something that could pass up as Jazz (complete with an equally awesome choreography) reminds me that not all remakes are complete waste of talent.

4. I Feel Pretty / Unpretty (Rachel and Quinn)

Episode: Born This Way

Of all the mash-ups Glee has done in its two seasons, this, I think is the best and the one most people can relate to. 

3. Teenage Dream (Warblers)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Darren Criss a.k.a. Harry freakin' Potter. Having to explain the sheer epicness of this song is insulting.

2. Rolling in the Deep (Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James)

Episode: Prom Queen

Adele song + a capella + Lea Michelle + Jonathan Groff  = Too beautiful for words.

1. Born This Way (New Directions)

Episode: Born This Way

I loved this video because of the message it brings to the world. I think the t-shirt labels are fantastic idea. Now, if only we could have local celebrities do a number like this, I think the world will be a less judgmental and more confident place.

"I Should Have Been Informed!": The Christopher Lao Controversy

Just this week, in the middle of the chaos of class suspensions and flooded streets, a viral video rocked the Internet and became a massive topic in social networking sites. 

A midst the PAGASA updates and CHED bashing, one name floated above the river of tweets recently: Christopher Lao.

Apparently, GMA 7 have timely covered a man who have miscalculated the depth of flood waters in a street in Metro Manila and have decided to, like those scenes in the movies with slow motion contemplation and Eye of the Tiger-ish theme songs, just go for it.

I personally found the video quite funny, his comments a bit egotistical, yes, but understandable. He was stressed after having unintentionally transformed his vehicle into a boat. It was a trying moment and not a lot of people would have had their wits with them after almost drowning in chest deep flood. At to that a nosy reporter who was right at his face the second he stepped out of the vehicle.

I however, do not understand the hate, the ridicule and the utmost animosity that have been in the feeds lately. The comments one YouTube channels are just plain mean and the various parody pages that have sprouted like mushrooms on Facebook are full of contempt and mockery.

Why the extreme hostility over someone who just happened to have said the wrong things in the wrong place at the wrong time? It's not like he insulted each and every one of our mothers or sculpted an image of Jesus with a penis on his face (CBCP was overacting, freedom of expression should exist in our society but that's another story).

I feel like in this decade of one-click sharing and unstoppable viral videos, things and situations can be extremely taken out of proportion and turned into this massive unseen monster that could ruin lives and reputations. Some people blame GMA7 for mishandling the story and maybe they did but, in my opinion, that's not the meat of the problem.

I may be an idealist here, but I frown upon the citizens of the Internet who have expressed their unrestrained and rather unfounded hatred for someone whom they've never met and never spoken to. Being funny is one thing, but harassing a person with the use of demeaning comments and below the belt insults are just plain rude and uncivilized.

The question is, if you were in the same position as Christopher Lao was, would you have reacted any better?

(Photos taken from Google Images)

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Will Continue On Living

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will be leaving the theaters in a few weeks. By then, all billboards, posters and advertisements will be taken down and replaced with scantily clad models trying to sell bikinis in this monsoon season. Worse comes to worst, they will be replaced with Edward Cullen's bloodless face sparkling in the sunlight. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. Kill me already.

So is this really it? Is the epic journey over? Is our generation of quality literature and commendable role-model characters left orphaned by the conclusion of the film franchise? Will hormone induced sex-crazed supernatural teenagers take over the theaters, bookstore and Internet fandoms?

I don't think so.

I am a Harry Potter fan from the very beginning but I'm not one who fawns over movie premieres and merchandise. Offer me a genuine "wand" direct from the Hogwarts set and I won't know what to do with it. Gift me a shirt with Daniel Radcliffe's face on it and I probably won't wear it outside the house. But write me a superb, addicting and exceptionally-written story about any character in any place inside JK Rowling's magical world and I'll remember it forever.

Movie or no movie, it's the characters that I'm in love with together with the Wizarding World we have all lived in. It's the taste of Butterbeer in the coldness of winter, it's the unpredictability of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, the mystery in the secret rooms of Hogwarts, the childish pleasures of doing magic in the corridors and the comfort and warmth of snuggling by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It's the world in my head that makes Harry Potter special, not these million dollar productions. And it can and will survive without them.

See, the movie may have rolled its final credits, but Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is still very much alive in the hearts of many. As long as there is imagination, creativity, love and appreciation for the enthralling world we have lived in for more than a decade, Harry will continue on living in the childhood of this generation, and in the hearts of millions to come.

And in the future, decades after this day, if ever a grandchild catches me excitedly watching one of the eight movies or lovingly perusing with misty eyes a Harry Potter book, and asks me, "After all this time?"

To quote the Boy Who Loved, Severus Snape, my answer would be: "Always."

A Final Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

This may very well be the last time I would get to write a Harry Potter film review, for the highly successful franchise has cast its last spell and will be closing its curtains forever. There will be no casting choices left to  scrutinize, no deleted scenes to be angry about, no trailers to look forward to and no more movie date release to anticipate with bated breath.

It all ends with this.

And what a magical swan song it was. From the moment the WB logo floated onscreen up to the rolling of the credits, it was a thrilling spectacle ride for readers and non-fans alike. Having worshiped the books from the start, I am the kind of anal retentive movie-goer who frowns upon changed scenes and plot cuts. Fortunately, neither was rampant in this David Yates' masterpiece.

Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows was packed with action, spells and rubble from start 'till finish. One need not know what the bloody hell is happening just as long as one is aware that Harry's the protagonist and the bald guy with the non-existent nose is the evil one and it will still be enjoyable to watch. Even my Muggle  movie companion was mesmerized by the sheer brilliance of almost every scene. It was a breathtaking experience to witness the Wizarding World in shambles. One can really tell that this is the final hurrah and Harry is determined to go with a final bang.


THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS

The film wasted no time in trying to explain the complicated aspects of Wandlore nor Dumbledore's shady past, and for that I am grateful. There is no way you could explain that much information to an illiterate audience who did not even care to crack open a single Harry Potter book. Instead, the screenwriters decided to tone down the plot details and hyped up the chaos and pandemonium, which translated better on the big screen. It was a wise decision indeed.

And as our heroic Trio found themselves back in Hogwarts, the plot and my heart took flight. This was it. This was the moment we've all been waiting for. The Great Battle. The ultimate war between the power of love and love of power. And I think every reader could attest that there was distinct feeling of thrill, exhilaration and awe upon watching the scene unfold right before our very eyes.

As with the book, the moment Professor McGonagall animated the once lifeless suits of armors and exclaimed, "Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect us!"  and the remaining faculty started to take matters in their own hands and use their highly developed skills in magic, chills ran down my spine. 

There is something astounding about finally seeing rather than just imagining. The impressive protective sphere, the spells, the fire, the rubble, the smoke and the thundering music set the perfect atmosphere for the raging battle that has yet to come. I could not have asked for a better set design. This was the battle of all battles, the final duel between good and evil, and it sure felt like it.

The scenes were reasonably paced, with the hunt of Ravenclaw's lost diadem, the Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement, the duels and the overall pandemonium inside the once peaceful halls of Hogwarts. It all blended together in this wonderful adrenaline-induced cacophony that could make Lord of the Rings proud.

THE PRINCE'S TALE

A review of Deathly Hallows Part II would not be complete without the mention of the unbelievably accurate portrayal of Alan Rickman to the endlessly complex and brilliant character that is Severus Snape. I will admit, the chapter entitled "The Prince's Tale" of the 7th book is my most read chapter in the entire series. I prefer my characters complicated, dark and with a secret that could shatter thousands of hearts, and that is exactly what JK Rowling did with our once hated Potions Master. 

Before the release of Deathly Hallows the novel, I remember all the talks behind the power of Harry's green eyes, because in countless of interviews, our queen creator has mentioned that it will play a big role in the final book. Nobody could understand it and probably very few speculations got it right. The shock that it was not some supernatural power never before witnessed by the Wizarding world but just, yet again, the uncontainable force of love, blew me away. And reduced me to a blubbering goopy mess the moment Harry stepped out of the Pensieve.

It is for this reason that I fell in love with this character who was often described as greasy and bat-like. Because it shows that everybody hurts, yet everybody loves. And no matter how despicable a certain person looks from the outside, if you just care to look a bit further, there would be always something there that could surprise you.

Okay, then. Now back to the movie.

THE FLAW IN THE PLAN

I think the only criticism I could give is that the closing battle at Hogwarts (the one which transpired after Harry came back to life) was underwhelming at best. Where were the centaurs, who upon seeing Harry's lifeless body decided to take a stand and fight against Voldemort? Where were the House Elves who have valiantly left the kitchens to stab Death Eaters in the ankles with paring knives? Where were the ordinary village people of Hogsmeade who overcame their fear of the Dark Lord, left their barrels of butterbear and came to fight alongside the wounded students of Hogwarts?

I know no single feature film could meet the millions of wild imaginations, all of which have created their own version of the epic final battle in their heads, but I just feel like these details shouldn't have been left out. It was the turning point in the book, showing how united the Wizarding World was in defeating a powerful tyrant. I regret to say that it was the only part of the film that felt sloppy and hastily made. 

However, I do understand why the producers felt there has to be an intense one-on-one battle slash chase scene between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort, with both running around the castle physically trying to destroy each other ala Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader's final Lightsaber match. It's a cinematic staple, a sort of movie template every great archenemies are expected to have.

However, in this case, I can't help but feel how out of character those scenes were. First of all, never could I remember imagining Voldemort run, much less chase Harry around Hogwarts. A little longer and I would have expected both to be pulling each other's hair, if Voldemort had hair.

But still, epicness prevailed. The ultimate end of Voldemort was much more silent than I anticipated, with just the wands doing all the talking, but the concluding image of the once feared sorcerer slowly dissolving to ashes was a satisfying image. 

NINETEEN YEARS LATER

And it all came to a full circle.

Platform 9 3/4: In the middle of the busy bustling train station filled with families and cages of various kinds of pets, we see them.


Ginny sporting Mom Hair, Harry looking basically the same, some random kids who are supposed to be James and Lily (both of whom nobody really cares about) and then there he was... Albus Severus Justin Potter Bieber.

Then there was Ron with his beer belly, Hermione who also looked quite the same and Draco Malfoy who just looked... weird.

The next generation of talented mischief managing wizards were on their way to Hogwarts. And we were left with the image of our beloved trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione looking wistfully on.

As a fan, I expected a lot and quite honestly, those expectations were mostly met. The film is a perfect mix of action, suspense, horror, comedy and a little bit of romance. It has a heart as big as Harry's, wit as sharp as Hermione's and loyalty to the novel that could make Ron proud. 


Thank you for giving the end of my childhood justice.


Orchestr-o-meter: Thousand points to David Yates & Co. !

Edward Cullen in Manila: A Plea for Local YA (Young Adult) Novels

I probably am the perpetual teenager when it comes to reading choices. Since elementary days up to post-college years, I still enjoy reading novels targeted at hormonally imbalanced pre-adults. When it comes to YA Novels, I think I've read them all, at least the ones people are talking about. Yes, I've endured even the phenomenal Twilight series with its neuron-killing plot and a heroine you'd want to beat with Thor's hammer.

Stephanie Meyer's books aside, I just love the genre. There's this light and free-flowing feeling I get when I read books in the YA category. I especially like those which are infused with supernatural / dystopian alternate universe element to them. Think The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins and The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare.

And yes, it gets formulaic sometimes, when the Ordinary Girl meets Tortured Mysterious New Student Guy Who May Or May Not Be Human in Science class. Then there's the sexy and heart-palpitating Forbidden Love arc after we find out that the protagonist is actually a Vampire / Werewolf / Fallen Angel / Witch. Reading novels like these is simple and entertaining and I pursue it even though it may not give a 20-something young professional like me bragging points when asked what kind of books have I perused.

The problem is this: There may be a myriad of books to choose from in this category with international books, so much that sometimes their world and themes overlap, however, there is a lot of catching up to do with regards to our local literature. All I see are children's books, chick lits and award-winning deep novels about poverty, corruption and drugs that are way too depressing for a teenager to spend time on. There is simply not much to choose from in the YA arena, if at all.

Having read countless of these kind of novels set in New York, or some other city in the United States, I do wish to be able to read one set here locally in our country just so it can be much more relatable to our teens. Imagine Good vs. Evil battling it out in Tondo or a Shopaholic desperately haggling in Divisoria. Our country, our places, our customs, mannerisms are so rich with potential I'm disappointed that, with all the talented writers we have, not a lot have attempted to flourish in such a popular category. 

I believe in the power of reading and how it helps form the mind of an individual, especially when they start at a young age. Young Adult fiction books have their own special power because the characters in the books are especially formulated so that readers can relate to them. It puts a person into other worlds and situations that would be dangerous otherwise if done in real life but gives off the same lessons that could be learned from such scenarios. 

I do hope that with the rise of the international YA scene, our country follows. There is so much untapped power in the genre that I think, if written brilliantly, could upset the long standing bestseller's list dominated by international titles. Now that is a novel I would be proud to read.

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare: Harry Potter, Buffy / Angel, LoTR and Draco Trilogy rolled into one

Draco Malfoy, there you are.

A little background: I spent my pre-adolescent years reading (and writing) Harry Potter fanfiction. There was this certain fanfiction trilogy that was so superb, it garnered a legion of fans, its own fan art and even 2nd degree fanfictions. Fans would wait for the next chaper with bated breath the way canon-loving readers would wait for the next Harry Potter book by Queen JK Rowling. I am talking about Draco Trilogy, and for years, I idolized the Joss-Whedon-quoting, slash-loving and HP fanfiction legend, Cassandra Clare. 

It took me some time to read her books even though I knew (and saw in bookstores) of her published YA novels. Having reread the thousands of pages of her fanfiction Draco Trilogy, I never realized how much I missed the good 'ol days of geekily roaming around the cyberhalls of Fanfiction.net or Fictionalley.org talking about what would happen next. I also missed Draco Malfoy's complicated character in the trilogy, much better than JK Rowling's characterization of Slytherin's little prince, I dare say.

Imagine my awe and amusement as I began reading Cassandra Clare's very own world and her own set of quirky characters. They were so familiar I would be able to tell that they were CC's work even without the title and author info on the book. There were also tons of little inside jokes and other uncanny similarities like the mention of "Still Not King" button (from her Lord of the Rings humor fic The Very Secret Diaries) and even the bedtime story about a little boy trying to train a raven to please his Father (yes, with a capital "F") is synonymous to that from Draco Veritas.

If one have followed CC's fanfiction writing years as I have, one would know that she is also a fan of Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its spin-off Angel having used numerous quotes from both the series and her characters having adopted the same witty and peculiar Whedonverse tongue. It is from these inspiration, that I guess, she picked up some of the traits of the altered urban city from her own books.

There are also other things I've noticed like having a pub / restaurant catering to demons is reminiscent of Angel the Series' demon-scattered Los Angeles. Usage of birds and fireplaces for sending letters and mails, lifted from Harry Potter, as Valentine reminds me of Voldemort, the Circle a toned down version of the Death Eaters and Muggles into Mundanes.

The same way Jace is a spitting image of Draco Malfoy from CC's Draco Trilogy, Simon reminds me of Ron Weasley and Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer combined and Isabelle has the persona of Draco Veritas' version of Fleur Delacour.

Believe me when I say that all of these are rather well-meant compliments. These are precisely the things that I love most about the series. Amidst the undertone of lack of originality (which is totally not the purpose of the paragraphs above), I relish the Mortal Instruments' world because it precisely took most of the things that I loved about stories and characters that I was addicted to before and meshed it up into this epic tale that hooked me right from the very beginning. Coupled with Cassandra Clare's graphic and intelligent writing style, there is little that I could complain about.

That said, Cassandra Clare's own personal story is in itself inspiring. From writing fanfiction just for fun of it to being a worldwide best selling author of a YA series with probably a movie in the works, one can really say that, the fate that brought her into such avenue (of course with hard work, determination and a little bit of luck) is nothing short of... magical.

Thou Shalt Not Pleasure Thyself

House Bill 4509: “An act penalizing the distribution, possession with intent to distribute and production of any device for the physical stimulation of human genitals for anything of pecuniary value and providing penalties for violations thereof.”

After reading this statement, a few questions popped into mind: What about electric toothbrushes? Back massagers? Bathroom bidets? Cellphones on vibrate? What about vegetables? Are eggplants going to be banned?? I'm going to miss my tortang talong! What about *gasp* hands?

 Ban sex toys in PH, bill urges 

MANILA, Philippines - Two party-list lawmakers are proposing a bill that would prohibit the ownership and distribution of sex toys in the country. 

House Bill 4509, authored by Buhay party-list Reps. Irwin Tieng and Mariano Michael Velarde, aims to "protect the morals of the society," they said in a statement. 

If passed, violators would be penalized with one-year imprisonment and a P30,000 fine. 

"The influence of obscene devices primarily for the physical stimulation of human genitals may seem unnoticed. The proliferation of these obscene devices which are insensitively and openly displayed in shops or stalls is very alarming," Tieng said. 

"This is also in keeping with the policy of the state to value the dignity of every human person and to promote and safeguard its integrity and the moral, spiritual and social being of its citizenry from the pernicious effects of obscene devices," Velarde added. 

Tieng and Velarde defined sex toys as any device that "can be used to stimulate human genitals," "could trigger sexually impure ideas" or "can give room to sex-related offenses." 

HB 4509 came on the heels of a debate among lawmakers on the Reproductive Health Bill, which would see the state give condoms to the poor. 

Source: http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/06/07/11/ban-sex-toys-ph-bill-urges

Let me get this straight, if this is just for the regulation of the sale and display of said adult toys then I can support this bill. That shops should have adult sections in their stores and that the bangketa display of these kinds of materials in populated areas be prohibited is not at all that bad. However, from the generalization of the terms and the reason presented for this kind of law to-be, I think these politicians are trying to bite off more than it should chew.

Fine, we can rationalize this as a measure for maintaining the innocence of the minds of our Filipino youth (because, God forbid, they should have zero knowledge about sexuality and even on how their own bodies work), but saying that these kind of gadgets can "trigger sexually impure ideas" and "can give room to sex related offenses" is just plain rash.

A piece of advice, if they want to ban sexually impure ideas, then ban brains instead. Thoughts are one thing that one cannot control but acting upon an idea/fantasy is another. Objects are just inanimate things that solely rely on the person using them. These rubber-made / battery operated devices have no intention nor motive to stain the world with lust and violence. And if these respectable gentlemen worry about proliferation of sex related crimes, instead of banning sex toys, maybe they should ban PRIESTS instead. But seriously, I think having a working and updated sex offenders' database is better than banning everything that vibrates and is shaped like a penis from the market.

Why is it that these holier-than-thou religious folks treat any thing related to sex and pleasure without the main intention of creating a child as automatically evil and immoral? I quote Stephen Fry on this when he said,

It’s the strange thing about this church, it is obsessed with sex, absolutely obsessed. Now, they will say we with our permissive society and our rude jokes, we are obsessed. No, we have a healthy attitude, we like it, it’s fun, it’s jolly, because it’s a primary impulse it can be dangerous and dark and difficult, it’s a bit like food in that respect only even more exciting. The only people who are obsessed with food are anorexics and the morbidly obese, and that in erotic terms is the Catholic Church in a nutshell.

Source: BBC's Intelligence Squared Debate: Is Catholicism Force of Good in the World?

Look who's copying who, now?

A world of freedom of expression, of informed choice and accessibility to that choice is upon us. A society free from religious jurisdictions and twisted dogmas. I believe these nuisance bills are just to further delay the widely contested RH Bill which actually values the intellect of the Filipino people.  They may dilly dally all they want, but the reality that women are dying everyday, because some people are too blind to see the facts that are staring at them in face, is still here to stay. Unless we do something about it.

Reality or dogma. You choose.

The word of the cleric is not the word of God. It is the word of a man who has studied the word of God.  

- Sen. Miriam Santiago