Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) Review

As much as I am a Twilight basher, I have shamelessly watched all the 3 previous movies and read the novels that came out of the franchise. Why? Just to have the right to have an opinion, mostly. I cannot insult what I know nothing about. Anyway, this was the year that I thought I would not be able to write my annual sarcasm-infused Twilight movie-of-the-year review because of time constraints, but 'lo and behold, here it is. I may not be my usual gritty self because of the crippling pain in my bleeding uterus, but I'll do my best.

For the record, I was not able to read the novel. Even the lure of using a new gadget and reading with my much anticipated iBooks app was not enough to make me endure the childish, whiny and self-centered contents of Bella Swan's thoughts. That, and of course, and Stephanie Meyer's horrid writing. I told myself that the movie was bound to be more interesting than the book, as with what happened when New Moon came out when the film actually made it seem that the literary version has a story to tell.

That said, with just the slightest idea of the plot as told by a friend, here is what I thought about the underworld's newest sparkly blockbuster hit.

First off, the movie started out like a bad fanfiction reenactment. I have read too many fan-made chapters of fluff and smut to know what cheesy plotlessness is and the first 30-45 minutes of Breaking Dawn Part I epitomizes just that. I have no idea which was taken from the book or were just put there for visual purposes, but no amount of cinematography could save almost an hour of teary-eyed parental goodbyes and PG-13 make-out sessions.

Side note: Honestly, what were Bella's parents on when they decided to let their just-graduated-from-high-school 18-year-old daughter marry an unemployed undergrad with a bad case of anemia? I mean, seriously. As far as I know, this isn't the 18th century where the only goal of a women in her life is to marry young and marry wealthy ala Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

Moving on, I have to give it up for Taylor Lautner for an awesome performance as always. Just when the audience was getting sick of all the make-out sessions with Bella and Edward on the beach, bed, waterfalls, sofa, beside a chess set, he comes in with just the right intensity before the whole films turns into vampire-themed porn. But seriously, Jacob Black was awesome in this movie, his almost photoshopped beach-ready human body is just as adorable with his cuddly It's-so-fluffy-I-wanna-die wolf form.

As for the plot, I really don't think the book needed to be split into two movies. There wasn't much that went on in this half and I feel that the movie would've have been actually great (action packed and with good pacing) if done in totality. It was not like in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where too much has happened that squeezing everything into one big production without the scenes being rushed is next to impossible. This is a classic example of big companies who want bigger profit in expense of quality and artistry.

Wait, quality and artistry? This is Twilight we're talking about, who am I kidding?

All in all, even having skipped the book, I believe the production has done all that they can with the little they have to work with. It has succeeded again in making the book more interesting even to non-fans with that cliffhanger ending. I may probably end up picking up where I left off, page 10 I think of the Breaking Dawn novel. 

Nah, probably not.

Orchestr-o-meter: C

No Other Woman (2011) Review and Hilarious One-Liners

It's not that I don't like watching local mainstream films in the cinema, it's just that I don't think they're worth the money. I know that sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth. With streaming movies on the Internet and P50 pirated DVDs, at this day and age, you better make sure that you get what you're paying for when watching flicks straight from the big screen. The last local movie I've watched was Enteng Kabisote using a special promo ticket where we got to watch the film for free and sad to say, it's not even worth the P10 we paid for tax.

That said, I still can't believe I got dragged into this movie under the lure of spending time with co-volunteers and staff in the institution I am currently serving in. But surprisingly, for a local mainstream movie, it was pretty enjoyable, or just unintentionally funny, I can't be sure.

The strength of the movie lies in its script, this is an understatement. With a predictable plot (especially the cheesy I-saw-that-arc-a-mile-away-I-can't-believe-you're-using-that-scene-AGAIN ending) and lukewarm to just plain bad acting from its lead stars (Anne Curtis was an exception, she was phenomenal), it is the witty laugh out loud "banats" that people look for in this kind of movie, and boy, did it deliver.

The audience was roaring with laughter a quarter of the way into the film. Kudos to whoever the screenwriter was that thought of these great lines. (I can't remember the characters' names so I'll just put in the actor's names instead.)

NO OTHER WOMAN ONE-LINERS

Carmi Martin to Christine Reyes: Panahon na para i-pack-up ‘yang si Lucy Torres mo. Ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Sabi nga niya sa Magkaribal, ‘You want war? I’ll give you war.’ Anak, ako na ang bahala sa red stilettos mo!

Chrstine Reyes to Anne Curtis: Sabi nila, a way to a man’s heart s through his stomach.

Sa ganda mong yan, siguro madami kang alam na shortcuts.

Christine Reyes: Alam mo kasi ang marriage parang exclusive village.

Kailangan mong bantayan para hindi makapasok ang mga squatters.

Christine Reyes: Why don’t you have dinner with us tonight, pa thank you ko na rin dahil kinuha mo ang asawa ko.

Anne Curtis: I’m sorry?

Christine Reyes: Bilang supplier ng furniture para sa resort niyo.

Christine Reyes: Bikini mo ba iyan o balat mo? (referring to Anne’s snake-skin printed bathing suit)

Carmi Martin: Kung ahas siya mas ahas ako! Tahimik pero kapag kinanti – nanunuklaw! 

Christine Reyes: Baka makita mo pang nilalagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain mo. Joke lang. Medyo off yung humor ko lately.

Christine's Friend (forgot the name): Naku. Ganyan talaga kapag galing sa makating dikya, nagmamarka. (Referring to a kiss mark on Derek’s neck)

And the famous...

Carmi Martin: Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher, maagawan ka, lumaban ka!

Christine Reyes: Tsaka ano bang mahirap kalaban? Yung putang mahirap o yung putang mayaman?

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun!

My favorite line:

Carmi Martin: Pareparehong puta lang yun! Ang mayaman bumibili ng Hermes sa mall, ang mahirap bumibili ng Hermes sa Greenhills!

So yes, aside from these great lines, there's really nothing more this movie has to offer unless you think Derek Ramsey's sex scene with two different beautiful ladies add weight to the quality of the movie. Still, it's a great flick to watch with rowdy friends. You will all end up making fun of Christine Reyes' dramatic scene in the end and the disgustingly predictable ending. Good times.

Top 10 Glee Songs (Season TWO)

10. Songbird (Santana)

Episode: Rumors

There's something about Santana's voice that is just breathtaking in this rendition of an old, almost never-before-heard song that this generation certainly doesn't know. Her heartfelt performance and superb tone just brings me chills.

9. Thriller / Heads Will Roll (New Directions)

Episode: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

I didn't really like this episode because not only did the plot felt forced but it was obvious that everything was written so it could wrap itself up to the climax of this performance. That said, it was still a great and energetic glee version of a decade's anthem.

8. Last Christmas (Rachel and Finn)

Episode: A Very Glee Christmas 

As much as I find the whole Rachel and Finn love arc quite boring and devoid of any kind of chemistry, this holiday duet brings fond memories of Christmas trees, food and presents every time I hear it play. Also, I love how the intro just screams Glee.

7. Get It Right (Rachel Berry)

Episode: Original Song

Of all the original tunes Glee managed to create, I think this one was the best.

6. Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer (New Directions)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Just kick ass. 'Nuff said.

5. Toxic (New Directions)

Episode: Britney / Brittany

It is in these kind of moments when I appreciate the covers Glee does to previously popular tunes. Remaking pink and fluffy pop song into something that could pass up as Jazz (complete with an equally awesome choreography) reminds me that not all remakes are complete waste of talent.

4. I Feel Pretty / Unpretty (Rachel and Quinn)

Episode: Born This Way

Of all the mash-ups Glee has done in its two seasons, this, I think is the best and the one most people can relate to. 

3. Teenage Dream (Warblers)

Episode: Never Been Kissed

Darren Criss a.k.a. Harry freakin' Potter. Having to explain the sheer epicness of this song is insulting.

2. Rolling in the Deep (Rachel Berry and Jesse St. James)

Episode: Prom Queen

Adele song + a capella + Lea Michelle + Jonathan Groff  = Too beautiful for words.

1. Born This Way (New Directions)

Episode: Born This Way

I loved this video because of the message it brings to the world. I think the t-shirt labels are fantastic idea. Now, if only we could have local celebrities do a number like this, I think the world will be a less judgmental and more confident place.

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Will Continue On Living

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will be leaving the theaters in a few weeks. By then, all billboards, posters and advertisements will be taken down and replaced with scantily clad models trying to sell bikinis in this monsoon season. Worse comes to worst, they will be replaced with Edward Cullen's bloodless face sparkling in the sunlight. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. Kill me already.

So is this really it? Is the epic journey over? Is our generation of quality literature and commendable role-model characters left orphaned by the conclusion of the film franchise? Will hormone induced sex-crazed supernatural teenagers take over the theaters, bookstore and Internet fandoms?

I don't think so.

I am a Harry Potter fan from the very beginning but I'm not one who fawns over movie premieres and merchandise. Offer me a genuine "wand" direct from the Hogwarts set and I won't know what to do with it. Gift me a shirt with Daniel Radcliffe's face on it and I probably won't wear it outside the house. But write me a superb, addicting and exceptionally-written story about any character in any place inside JK Rowling's magical world and I'll remember it forever.

Movie or no movie, it's the characters that I'm in love with together with the Wizarding World we have all lived in. It's the taste of Butterbeer in the coldness of winter, it's the unpredictability of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, the mystery in the secret rooms of Hogwarts, the childish pleasures of doing magic in the corridors and the comfort and warmth of snuggling by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It's the world in my head that makes Harry Potter special, not these million dollar productions. And it can and will survive without them.

See, the movie may have rolled its final credits, but Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is still very much alive in the hearts of many. As long as there is imagination, creativity, love and appreciation for the enthralling world we have lived in for more than a decade, Harry will continue on living in the childhood of this generation, and in the hearts of millions to come.

And in the future, decades after this day, if ever a grandchild catches me excitedly watching one of the eight movies or lovingly perusing with misty eyes a Harry Potter book, and asks me, "After all this time?"

To quote the Boy Who Loved, Severus Snape, my answer would be: "Always."

A Final Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

This may very well be the last time I would get to write a Harry Potter film review, for the highly successful franchise has cast its last spell and will be closing its curtains forever. There will be no casting choices left to  scrutinize, no deleted scenes to be angry about, no trailers to look forward to and no more movie date release to anticipate with bated breath.

It all ends with this.

And what a magical swan song it was. From the moment the WB logo floated onscreen up to the rolling of the credits, it was a thrilling spectacle ride for readers and non-fans alike. Having worshiped the books from the start, I am the kind of anal retentive movie-goer who frowns upon changed scenes and plot cuts. Fortunately, neither was rampant in this David Yates' masterpiece.

Part 2 of the Deathly Hallows was packed with action, spells and rubble from start 'till finish. One need not know what the bloody hell is happening just as long as one is aware that Harry's the protagonist and the bald guy with the non-existent nose is the evil one and it will still be enjoyable to watch. Even my Muggle  movie companion was mesmerized by the sheer brilliance of almost every scene. It was a breathtaking experience to witness the Wizarding World in shambles. One can really tell that this is the final hurrah and Harry is determined to go with a final bang.


THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS

The film wasted no time in trying to explain the complicated aspects of Wandlore nor Dumbledore's shady past, and for that I am grateful. There is no way you could explain that much information to an illiterate audience who did not even care to crack open a single Harry Potter book. Instead, the screenwriters decided to tone down the plot details and hyped up the chaos and pandemonium, which translated better on the big screen. It was a wise decision indeed.

And as our heroic Trio found themselves back in Hogwarts, the plot and my heart took flight. This was it. This was the moment we've all been waiting for. The Great Battle. The ultimate war between the power of love and love of power. And I think every reader could attest that there was distinct feeling of thrill, exhilaration and awe upon watching the scene unfold right before our very eyes.

As with the book, the moment Professor McGonagall animated the once lifeless suits of armors and exclaimed, "Hogwarts is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect us!"  and the remaining faculty started to take matters in their own hands and use their highly developed skills in magic, chills ran down my spine. 

There is something astounding about finally seeing rather than just imagining. The impressive protective sphere, the spells, the fire, the rubble, the smoke and the thundering music set the perfect atmosphere for the raging battle that has yet to come. I could not have asked for a better set design. This was the battle of all battles, the final duel between good and evil, and it sure felt like it.

The scenes were reasonably paced, with the hunt of Ravenclaw's lost diadem, the Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement, the duels and the overall pandemonium inside the once peaceful halls of Hogwarts. It all blended together in this wonderful adrenaline-induced cacophony that could make Lord of the Rings proud.

THE PRINCE'S TALE

A review of Deathly Hallows Part II would not be complete without the mention of the unbelievably accurate portrayal of Alan Rickman to the endlessly complex and brilliant character that is Severus Snape. I will admit, the chapter entitled "The Prince's Tale" of the 7th book is my most read chapter in the entire series. I prefer my characters complicated, dark and with a secret that could shatter thousands of hearts, and that is exactly what JK Rowling did with our once hated Potions Master. 

Before the release of Deathly Hallows the novel, I remember all the talks behind the power of Harry's green eyes, because in countless of interviews, our queen creator has mentioned that it will play a big role in the final book. Nobody could understand it and probably very few speculations got it right. The shock that it was not some supernatural power never before witnessed by the Wizarding world but just, yet again, the uncontainable force of love, blew me away. And reduced me to a blubbering goopy mess the moment Harry stepped out of the Pensieve.

It is for this reason that I fell in love with this character who was often described as greasy and bat-like. Because it shows that everybody hurts, yet everybody loves. And no matter how despicable a certain person looks from the outside, if you just care to look a bit further, there would be always something there that could surprise you.

Okay, then. Now back to the movie.

THE FLAW IN THE PLAN

I think the only criticism I could give is that the closing battle at Hogwarts (the one which transpired after Harry came back to life) was underwhelming at best. Where were the centaurs, who upon seeing Harry's lifeless body decided to take a stand and fight against Voldemort? Where were the House Elves who have valiantly left the kitchens to stab Death Eaters in the ankles with paring knives? Where were the ordinary village people of Hogsmeade who overcame their fear of the Dark Lord, left their barrels of butterbear and came to fight alongside the wounded students of Hogwarts?

I know no single feature film could meet the millions of wild imaginations, all of which have created their own version of the epic final battle in their heads, but I just feel like these details shouldn't have been left out. It was the turning point in the book, showing how united the Wizarding World was in defeating a powerful tyrant. I regret to say that it was the only part of the film that felt sloppy and hastily made. 

However, I do understand why the producers felt there has to be an intense one-on-one battle slash chase scene between Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort, with both running around the castle physically trying to destroy each other ala Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader's final Lightsaber match. It's a cinematic staple, a sort of movie template every great archenemies are expected to have.

However, in this case, I can't help but feel how out of character those scenes were. First of all, never could I remember imagining Voldemort run, much less chase Harry around Hogwarts. A little longer and I would have expected both to be pulling each other's hair, if Voldemort had hair.

But still, epicness prevailed. The ultimate end of Voldemort was much more silent than I anticipated, with just the wands doing all the talking, but the concluding image of the once feared sorcerer slowly dissolving to ashes was a satisfying image. 

NINETEEN YEARS LATER

And it all came to a full circle.

Platform 9 3/4: In the middle of the busy bustling train station filled with families and cages of various kinds of pets, we see them.


Ginny sporting Mom Hair, Harry looking basically the same, some random kids who are supposed to be James and Lily (both of whom nobody really cares about) and then there he was... Albus Severus Justin Potter Bieber.

Then there was Ron with his beer belly, Hermione who also looked quite the same and Draco Malfoy who just looked... weird.

The next generation of talented mischief managing wizards were on their way to Hogwarts. And we were left with the image of our beloved trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione looking wistfully on.

As a fan, I expected a lot and quite honestly, those expectations were mostly met. The film is a perfect mix of action, suspense, horror, comedy and a little bit of romance. It has a heart as big as Harry's, wit as sharp as Hermione's and loyalty to the novel that could make Ron proud. 


Thank you for giving the end of my childhood justice.


Orchestr-o-meter: Thousand points to David Yates & Co. !

Something Borrowed (Book vs. Movie Review) & Something Blue by Emily Giffin

It is a rare and momentous occasion for someone like me to have watched a movie adaptation of a novel before actually reading the book. It may be no big deal for some but it has been an unwritten rule for myself and the tradition has never been altered since Day 1. Except for this.

Something Borrowed, a best-selling novel penned by Emily Giffin, is a story about a 30-year-old type A plain-Jane lawyer who happens to have an affair with her best friend's fiancé. Being the Maid of Honor in the ceremony and a life-long friend of the bride, conflicts arise as she works out her feelings about what she wants and what she is tasked to do. The movie adaptation was released early this May starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield and John Krasinski.

Having watched the movie first before reading the novel, it was surprising for me to find out that the film adaptation strayed farther than expected from the original plot, and it worked. The added plot ornamentations and character replacements worked quite brilliantly, as a matter of fact. Normally, these circumstances would have been a source of irritation when I watch the characters who have played in my head in different light, but this time, I thought the plot moved at a better pace and the characters were more likable on screen compared to their written form.

It is commendable how the screenwriter added a history between Rachel and Dex, making the affair much more reasonable. I think Ginnifer Goodwin did a terrific job portraying Rachel and made the choices she had more understandable to the viewing public. However, let it be said that John Krasinski absolutely stole the show, delivered all the best lines and almost single-handedly made the movie enjoyable to watch. The interesting thing about this is that his role isn't even that prominent in the book. Rachel's primary confidante about her forbidden relationship with Dex is actually female colleague. Which is unfortunate because it's Ethan's character that drove me to read the actual novel.

Speaking of novels, part two of this heartfelt and easy to read chic lit is Something Blue. We follow Darcy as she goes through her life with (spoiler!) the discovery of her best friend's treachery with her very own fiance and Marcus' baby in her womb. Told entirely in Darcy's shallow but endearing POV, we get a glimpse of the self-absorbed socialite Rachel has been ranting about during the previous book. Here we find out that there is more to the New York queen bee that meets the eye. 

The only criticism I have about the novel is that it felt like the plot just started to take off halfway through the book when Darcy decides to head on to England and crash in her childhood friend Ethan's pad. The plot was fairly predictable, but that did not lessen the enjoyment one should get while reading the novel. As a slow and easily distracted reader nowadays, I finished my e-book copoy in less than 48 hours and loved every minute of it.

Something Borrowed and Something Blue. Two novels about romance gained and lost and the two ultimate forces that drives us all, love and friendship. Read 'em and weep.

Orchestr-o-meter:

Something Borrowed (Film Adaptation) : A-

Something Borrowed (Novel): B

Something Blue (Novel): A

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Review): Based on a True Story of Everyone

High School. Sort of.

Dark skinned, with glasses and braces = the complete cliche package of an ugly girl falls in love with unbelievably handsome and charming upperclassman. Of course he has to be perfect in every way possible, all sensitive and artistic (but athletic and hot at the same time) while she is the clumsy nerd in the shadows.

The movie opens up with Nam's quirky group of friends and a teacher who is too straightforward for her own good. A few juvenile scenes of picking out crushes, passing notes during class and stolen glimpses and suddenly, the story becomes all too familiar.

All those enchantment-believing, book-reading and daydreaming moments could might as well be anybody else's story and it was that gravitation to something so recognizable to all, I think, that made this movie so popular and endearing to people who have a heart and once used it for something no matter how one-sided and futile the experience was.

But of course the lead character must shed off her veil of ugliness and become this pretty swan in a matter of a few months. Any story set on screen could definitely not end with the Prince Charming falling in love with the still visually despicable commoner! The transformation was so dramatic I had to Google if two different actresses played her part. 

I found it bothersome how society (apparently even in Thailand) entails that for a character to be noticed and loved, she has to be physically beautiful. Yes it's nice that after a lot of name-callings and schoolyard torture, the caterpillar that we have grown accustomed to has wreathed out of her cocoon and transformed into a beautiful butterfly. But still, wouldn't it be more interesting, and inspiring even, if the Prince Charming and the ordinary girl had their happily ever after without some cliche make-over / metamorphosis in the middle to make everything easier on the eyes?

For me, it was a rocky road from the moment Nam became painfully beautiful. She suddenly lost her adorable awkward charm and it was not as interesting seeing her being fawned upon by random schoolmates. Fortunately, the story picked up near the ending with humiliating confessions, predictable heartbreak and some flipping through a black book.

Overall, it is a must-see for everyone who have gone through high school and/or puberty. I guaranty you will relieve those tiled school halls with such clarity it's disconcerting. The trailer got it right when it said that it is based on a true story of everyone. And I find myself agreeing with that claim. At least for the first 30 minutes. ;)

Orchestr-o-meter: A

Closer (2004)

If you believe in love at first sight... Take a closer look.

To call this movie a 'love story' is simply misleading because people might expect flowers, light kisses and rainbows. But it is a story about love and all the things that come with it, and a provocative one at that.

Closer delves into the lives of four individuals who managed to get their feelings entangled up in each others' businesses. It is a searing story of betrayal, lies and deceit as well as uncontrollable yearning and obsession. The characters are captivating in their own ways and it gives a slightly distorted image on how relationships are formed and broken on this day and age.

The impeccable performance of the lead and supporting cast and the brilliant script is what made the movie work. It is a film devoid of action scenes and romantic cheesiness, but the story is intact and the characters are engaging. Raw emotion just shines through the screen I found myself intoxicated with it.

I would also like to commend the film for its ingenious scene blueprint, as the audience is only presented with moments where the characters are in crisis. The fluff and 'joy' of the story is left out leaving a constant intensity that holds the viewer's rapt attention with ease.

The ending may leave some scratching their heads if one is not paying attention to a specific scene. Some may even be disappointed if one is looking for a finale with a bang, but I, personally, adored the power in simplicity and the utmost passion of the whole 104 minutes.

The soundtrack did not veer far from it's mother ship. "The Blower's Daughter" sung by Damien Rice is a consuming song with brutal lyrics and a haunting melody. It is featured throughout the film and will leave you yearning for more when the credits roll.

All in all, one of the most intense film I've seen in recent years as it is saturated not only with astonishing confrontations and sex, but with overwhelming passion and emotions as well.

Orchestr-o-meter: A

Red Riding Hood (2011) Review

I never thought I would see the day where a not-so-little Red Riding Hood, in her conservative medieval outfit, dance promiscuously to modern alternative music and make-out with a guy upon a haystack.

But I did. Yesterday. And, honestly, it wasn't as bad as I expected.

The wolf is at it again, killing innocent maidens in the remote village of Medieval Clichedom, complete with straw houses, wheelbarrows and 14th century wardrobe. Amanda Seyfried's character Valerie is in love with her childhood friend while engaged to another man by her parents' will. Her sister had just been killed by the werewolf and the world is all black and gloomy. This is accentuated by a run through thorny trees.

Enter a Priest slash Werewolf Expert with two surprisingly black bodyguards and the plot takes off into this whirlwind of betrayal, seduction and emo music.

Unfortunately, the movie fails in most parts. The characters are flat and the performances of the actors are lackluster, I didn't really connect with them and did not care whether one lives or dies. The set looks amateurish and fake and the music and cinematography are Twilight rip offs. Wait, with the out-of-context and somehow forced almost-sex-scene in the middle of the movie, I felt like I must be watching a Breaking Dawn dream scene.

The film's strength lies on its Who-Is-The-Werewolf plot. And I must say, the ending was pretty unexpected for most viewers (unless you happen to unintentionally spoil yourself while reading a friend's status on Facebook, like me). The seemingly insignificant scenes wrapped up nicely into this matrix of lies and cunning plans that brought everyone in their proper place at the end is admirable at best.

In the end, it's a fairly decent movie, if you don't mind the Emo-Sappy Twilight feel and doze-worthy characterization. It's a refreshingly dark twist to a fairy tale loved by many. I, for one, is looking forward to a Gothic take on the classic Cinderella tale, preferably from the original Brothers Grimm version, where one of the stepsisters eye gets eaten by a bird and the stepmother commands her daughter to cut off her toes for her foot to be able to fit in the glass slipper. But that's just me.

Orchestr-o-meter: B-

Blue Valentine, 127 Hours and Black Swan

BLUE VALENTINE (2010)

The film centers on a contemporary married couple, charting their evolution over a span of years by cross-cutting between time periods. 

If honesty is the best policy when it comes to movies, then this one definitely deserves the good moral award. Blue Valentine showcases the story of a young couple from the time they fell in love to the brink of its destruction. The scenes cut between the gloomy present and their happier times giving off a painfully truthful view of the irony of love and everything that comes with it.

Even though a concrete plot is a bit hard to find, the acting in the film shines through the monotony of the script. Michelle Williams's breathtaking performance made the movie transcend into a whole other level but what makes it more unforgettable is its raw honesty and unfiltered scenes and how close its all too familiar setting hits home.

Orchestr-o-Meter: A-

127 HOURS (2010)

A mountain climber becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone near Moab, Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive.

"There is no force on Earth more powerful than the will to live."

So much more than the story of someone cutting off his own arm with a blunt knife, 127 Hours is a dazzling tale of passion, courage, perseverance and one man's ultimate will to survive. Based on the true story of mountaineer Aaron Ralston, 127 Hours is a mesmerizing 94 minutes of amazing cinematography, adventure and heart. It splendidly presented a man's journey to self discovery through the unlikeliest circumstances.

 

Given that 3/4 of the movie is set in the exact same spot with just a man, a boulder and a video camera, both director (Danny Boyle) and actor (James Franco) delivered stunning skills in their respective professions that the constant backdrop and the solitary character is not even noticeable.

Definitely one of the best movies I've seen to date.

Orchestr-o-Meter: A+

BLACK SWAN (2010)

A ballet dancer wins the lead in "Swan Lake" and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan - Princess Odette - but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odile the Black Swan.

A psychological thriller for the culturally inclined, the film is an intoxicating tale of a ballerina in search for perfection that her obsession finally turns into insanity and beyond. The disturbing delusions and hallucinations perfectly done in an unnerving yet subtle manner reminiscent of Stephen King's "Carrie" plus the blatant sexually driven scenes will definitely give the audience something to talk about after leaving the theaters.

Orchestr-o-Meter: B+

The King's Speech, Burlesque and Love & Other Drugs

THE KING'S SPEECH

The story of King George VI of Britain, his impromptu ascension to the throne and the speech therapist who helped the unsure monarch become worthy of it.

Colin Firth. Helena Bonham Carter. Just two of the reasons why the movie caught my eye despite the lackluster poster and the dreary feel of the setting. I'm not particularly fond of films that people expect to win awards because they often prove themselves as boringly deep, but with this one, I am glad I dived into the fascinating world of royal hierarchy and speech impediment.

The movie is surprisingly captivating and entertaining even without the presence of special effects, fight scene, car chase or a single sex clip. I can clearly see why it is nominated for numerous awards including those which celebrates the power of effortless acting, the kind that doesn't require a bloodbath of weeping scenes of  grief and dismay. A must-see for those who appreciates beauty in simplicity.

Orchestr-o-Meter: A

BURLESQUE

Ali (Christina Aguilera) is a small-town girl with a big voice who escapes hardship and an uncertain future to follow her dreams to LA. After...

A small-town girl ventures to Los Angeles and finds her place in a neo-burlesque club run by a former dancer.

It seems as if it was just yesterday when Christina Aguilera was rubbing a genie out of a bottle. Fast forward to a decade later, we find her in the same position, but this time with less clothes, more feather boas and with Cher moaning, err, singing at her side.

It would have been a pretty good movie if they just let go of the utterly predictable storyline and all the bad acting. But aside from that, Burlesque did have pretty solid musical performances and a great stage setting. Unfortunately, not even Christina's stunning vocal prowess is strong enough to enthrall an audience who is looking to watch a coherent movie and not a PCD inspired concert.

Orchestr-o-Meter: B-

LOVE & OTHER DRUGS

Maggie (Hathaway) is an alluring free spirit who won't let anyone - or anything - tie her down. But she meets her match in Jamie (Gyllenhaal), whose relentless and nearly infallible charm serve him well with the ladies and in the cutthroat world of pharmaceutical sales. Maggie and Jamie's evolving relationship takes them both by surprise, as they find themselves under the influence of the ultimate drug: love.

As a sucker for romantic comedies, I had high hopes for this one. Unfortunately, Anne Hathaway's latest flick is neither funny nor is particularly romantic, unless you count a myriad of sex scenes, with almost full nudity in both actors, as "Awww, that's so sweet!" worthy.

Set in the Viagra year of 1999, the film delves into the realm of pharmaceutical sales and early-onset Parkinson's disease. Sounds interesting enough, yes. However, the movie failed to take the usual boy-meets-girl route to a higher level, thus making it, in pharmaceutical terms, quite generic.

Must watch for those who are looking to gaze into Anne Hathaway's breasts and Jake Gyllenhaal's butt.

Orchestr-o-Meter: B-

My Amnesia Girl (2010) Review

My Amnesia Girl, the romantic comedy from Star Cinema starring John Lloyd Cruz and Toni Gonzaga is the It Movie of late 2010. It is the kind of film expected to bring in box office revenue and even non-Jejemons to the cinema because of its wide appeal to the general public of any demographic. Even I, who haven't watched a local film in ages wanted to watch it on the big screen when it first came out. But I didn't get the chance to do so, hence, the YouTube segmented viewing I did just before writing this review.

In this self-proclaimed movie critic's opinion, My Amnesia Girl is a romantic drama with a barrage of comic pick-up lines and a dash of cheesiness, a stark contradictory to its trailer, poster and over-all packaging of being a full pledged comedy with half a plot and no depth whatsoever. I was pleasantly surprised to find more tears rolling than laughter. (I'm not sure if that's what the writer and director is aiming for but it's a good thing in my book.)

Both lead actors delivered convincingly throughout the film, although I think Toni Gonzaga perfectly nailed it in some parts. There is this 10-minutes scene with John Lloyd where her acting prowess just shines through effortlessly. Honestly it's refreshing to watch a local 'comedy' and see some serious acting going on, unlike the usual fluff and wackiness that normally transpires during films of the same genre.

Before its release, there was this controversy that the movie is a copycat of previously released motion pictures like 50 First Dates and the likes, but anybody who have seen, at least, the first 30 minutes of the movie will know that those are just premature comments from the misleading trailer. And poster. And official theme song.

Although it was promoted to the consumer audience as mindless fluff with funny/cheesy pick-up lines from a song originally sung by two Love Radio DJs, I'm happy to find out that it has an unbelievably moving backstory and more heart than it cared to initially show through teasers. In short, it is so much more than what it appeared to be at first glance.

And just like what Apollo had said in the movie, "Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? Eh at second sight? Pwede!"

Just The Way He Is: Why I Am A Fan Of BRUNO MARS (Him Being Half-Filipino NOT Included)

Singer, songwriter, producer and musician extraordinaire Bruno Mars is exactly what I am talking about when I say I appreciate artists who can do it all rather than those who just belt out tracks written by others. Peter Gene Hernandez, half-Filipino and half-Puerto Rican, was catapulted into the international music scene by his collaboration with other artists such as B.o.B. (Nothin' On You) and Travie McCoy (Billionaire). Just a few months ago, he released his first album "Doo-Wops & Hooligans" and now has been nominated for 7 Grammys at the 53rd Grammy Awards to be held in 2011.

And take note, he has neither authentic star-spangled American heritage nor magazine-cover-worthy pretty-boy looks. Not that he's not attractive, but you can't really say that his appearance is his strongest point.

With the dramatically heart-pounding song Grenade and the panty-dropper debut single Just The Way You Are, it's no wonder how he has captivated the hearts of music lovers worldwide and even the ears of the Grammy committee. His lyrics are symbolic, deep and surprisingly heartfelt and honest you can't help but to  stay and listen to what he has to say.

With genuine talent comes genuine fans. An artist doesn't have to be a part of a certain race or demographic to attract admirers nor retell a sappy life story to get attention. His/her music is supposed to speak for itself, without the help of make-up, hair gel and/or partial nudity. With the current state of the breast-filled and curse-motivated music industry, I, for one, am thankful that real musicians like Bruno Mars still exist.

More Than You'll Ever Know (Piano)

A simple rendition of the love song classic originally sung by Michael Ruff (who I thought was Side A from the start) and is still popular in the country despite the decades of pop/rap/rock music that it has been sharing the airwaves with.

For me, the song has such an effortless melody torn between romantic and melancholy that it is a perfect soundtrack for bittersweet lovers.

Almost like a lullaby, this arrangement was made by my piano teacher for another student for a recital. It is so simple that it is supposed to be played with loving caresses like there's something going to happen later that night with you and the instrument. I don't know if I succeeded in such a task but since I managed to record it in one take, it seemed suited for public consumption.

As for those asking, well, yes, there is a music sheet for this exact arrangement, however, I still need to ask the permission of the one who actually made it and add to that that I don't have a soft copy, I doubt that it is coming up anytime soon. I will look for the chords used for this specific piece and maybe upload it soon. Stay in love.. ;)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (PART 1) Uber-Lengthy Fan Review

 

This is it. The penultimate installment of the worldwide phenomenon and the series of a generation. It is not only a tremendously popular franchise but also stood as the childhood companion of millions all over the globe. So after more than a decade of magic and sorcery, we have finally come to the beginning of the end.

And it couldn't have been better. I just knew it was going to be a good movie, even great. And I was not disappointed.

"These are dark times, there is no denying."

From the very first line, I knew this was not the usual child-oriented movie the public has always affiliated Harry Potter with. Gone were the friendly halls of Hogwarts and fluffy snow owls in the Great Hall. In fact, we didn't even see a shadow of Hogwarts, just spectacular mountainside views that could serve as an ad for British Tourism.

Watching the trio of Harry, Hermione and Ron grow throughout these years, it's amazing to see how far they've come. Hermione (Emma Watson), from a stuck-up, by-the-books nerd has transformed into an intelligent and capable wizard who the two will most likely be lost without. I particularly applaud this heartfelt scene in the beginning where she was shown to have erased herself from her parents' memories as a precautionary measure against Voldemort's possible advances against those that she loves.

Rupert Grint portrayal of Ron is as seamless as ever. Not only was he responsible for most of the comic reliefs of the film, of all the films actually, he was successful in showing the depth of his character; Ron's strength, courage and his love for his friends. When I was reading the book, I was so moved with the Horcruxe scene with the images of locket Harry and locket Hermione locking their lips together to the jealousy and anger of a bewildered Ron. Amazingly, the movie version did not disappoint.

Geek Mode: Although I loved the precise and hauntingly beautiful recreation of the scene, I noticed that they left out Harry's line when he said to Ron, and I quote: 

"She's like my sister," he went on. "I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew." 

Reading the book, it is absolutely positive that Hermione and Ron will end up with each other, but with the movies, there are more Harry and Hermione slightly romantic scenes than I am  comfortable with. Enter the movie-only wilderness dance between the two in the absence of Ron. I think David Yates is a H/Hr shipper.

Brilliant character development aside (Bellatrix and Voldemort were portrayed perfectly by the way), there are loads for those who just want to watch the movie for the cinematic thrills. Being a self-proclaimed road movie, the film takes us to various places and into a multitude of situations, a feat never seen before in any of the previous Harry Potter films since they are mostly shot at a Hogwarts set. For those who have not read the books, it is still an excellent adventure movie with wizard-eating-snakes, Dementors and curses in every other scene.

Geek Mode: Speaking of scenes, there are some which I would prefer to have been part of the film.

• One is Harry's farewell to the Dursleys. It might have been a minor scene in the book, relatively unimportant but I felt that it would be proper to give the family a proper exit, as with the novel. Dudley's change of heart, I would like to see that.
• Second, Kreacher's Tale. I was surprised that so few (those who haven't read the book) asked the back story regarding how the elf knew about the locket and how it arrived at Grimmauld's Place. I guess nobody really cared as long as they get to see some hilarious action at the Ministry of Magic.
• Third, Harry's proper reaction to the destruction of his Phoenix wand. He was like, "What? Oh it's fine, Hermione give me your wand." I mean, losing the twin core, his only protection against Voldemort., that deserves a bit more expression than blatant apathy.

As for the well talked about split, I think the producers made a marvelous decision on where to end Part 1. There is a definitive beginning and end to the movie that will not leave the feeling of loose ends but rather an insatiable anticipation for the next, the last, the ultimate final installment.

Geek Mode: Almost 3/4 of the Deathly Hallows book was already included in this first movie. The only scenes missing are the Gringgots robbery and the great battle at Hogwarts. Imagining more than 2 hours of feasting my eyes in the ruins, rubble and final showdown of love vs. evil makes me want to cry.

EPILOGUE:

After 146 minutes...

Even though the film is the first part of a 2-part finale, it surprisingly can stand on its own. The story progress in rapid action-filled sequences, perfectly orchestrated to keep the audience on their toes. The alternating scenes of character/backdrop-oriented montages and edge-of-your-seat chase scenes building up to an explosive and endearing resolution made up this almost perfect rendition of J.K. Rowling's best novel to date.